Movign to New York City.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 06, 2007 6:35 AM GMT
    Hey guys, I've been thinking about moving to New York for 3 months now. I've even got my plane ticket so that i can move this comming december. But now i'm getting nerveous and having second thoughts. I relally want to move but i'm scared that i might not be prepared. I'm moving from california and never been to new york city. Can someone offer some advice? what should I do before i move? I have two friends that are willing to help me but i don't really have time to talk with them since they are always working. Thanx!
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Nov 06, 2007 11:55 AM GMT
    I'd keep an open mind....
    It might have been better to have at least visited "The City" as it is called by the people who live there
    but you're going to need to keep from being overwhelmed
    it also depends on where in NY you're going to live
    each Borough has its own flavor
    Manhattan or at least Brooklyn are suggested
    Have your friends who live there take you around
    Get to know the subway and the local bus systems
    word to the wise...if you're coming from CA
    NY'ers are WAY more standoffish than CA'ers
    don't take it personal
    best of luck
    Don't let'em eat you alive
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    Nov 06, 2007 2:33 PM GMT
    GQJockNY'ers are WAY more standoffish than CA'ers

    Please! You folks down in Broward County are only nice when you're not driving!
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    Nov 06, 2007 2:53 PM GMT
    I think you should visit first. If you move now it's going to be winter in a few months. Are you ready for the cold. Do you have winter coat and proper footwear? I love new york and i think you will too. I suggest to try to have a job lined up and most important a place to stay. Can you transfer through a job you have now? Do you have any friends there now? Do you have money to live on while getting on your feet? Do you know how much rent will cost you? You sound like you already made up your mind. Just check into a few things first then go for it.
    Good luck
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    Nov 06, 2007 4:58 PM GMT

    First off, you are extremely young. To be moving to such a city is a HUGE deal. You may not be thinking that, but it really is.

    First off, NYC is quite costly. The standards of living are quite high and it's nothing like life in California.

    People indeed are more bold and rude (just my opinion since I live in Texas). Walking through the city (specifically Manhattan) is like a human maze. You have to keep moving or else someone will run right into you. It can be very overwhelming.

    I am planning (was actually) to move to NYC as well. PLEASE PLEASE POR FAVOR, visit the city FIRST. You have to get some sort of feel for this type of city before you literally move.

    Also, you will need lots of cash prior to moving. You simply cannot move to NYC without a good chunk of cash (I mean thousands, unless you want to live on the street or something). I'd check out Craigslist to look into places to live.

    Also, consider living upstate if you can. It is much cheaper and less crazy (in regard to the city life). I love upstate NY (Westchester area), but to get to the city is a serious drive.

    Please keep these things all in mind. Without many months of planning and budgeting, this would be pretty crazy papa.

    If you have any other questions, just ask. I'll be doing the same thing sooner or later! icon_smile.gif

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    Nov 06, 2007 5:43 PM GMT
    Go to the Port Authority bus station and look confused and pretty. If someone approaches you with a job offer, the city is yours for the taking.
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    Nov 06, 2007 6:02 PM GMT
    I agree with the others. You can't possibly wrap your mind around New York until you've been there. In spite of any warning that you've been given, New York is still far more daunting than you can imagine.

    If you live in the city you cannot own a car. If you live in the suburbs you cannot live without a car. Without a college education you CAN find solid work but it will be low paying and you will have to live in an apartment with 4 to 8 other people, and even then in not-so-great neighborhoods.

    I will say that I've never found New York to be unfriendly. It isn't gregarious, like much of the rest of the nation, but if you approach New Yorkers intelligently they can be quite helpful. But it can be a city that will chew you up and spit you out if you are callow.

    Plan to move in a couple of years, at least. Take a fun Christmas trip so that you can see the store windows, get a feel for the cold and just check the vibe of the city.

    If you are staying with your friends (and you really need to) then you can save some money. Hotels are really expensive, and you may need to check out a hostel or YMCA.

    As for food, you will be able to find good prices all over the city. Just don't be sucked in by those Times Square traps.

    Good luck!
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    Nov 06, 2007 6:20 PM GMT
    You can live in CT for cheaper and still be connected to the city via rail without a car.

    And if you do drive then when people complain just say your from CT and they understand icon_cool.gif
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    Nov 06, 2007 6:35 PM GMT
    I agree 100% with everyone who has suggested visiting before you go. Having lived there myself, I can tell you that New York can be very overwhelming if you've never spent any time there. It's an exciting, fun, huge city with a lot to offer.... but it's also a very hard, expensive, speedy town. Get ready for a huge change in your pace, and in your spending habits.

    Also I would advise you to prepare for some real sticker-shock when you are looking for a place to live. A studio apartment in a decent neighborhood in Manhattan can be up to $2000 a month or more... I shit you not! If you don't mind doing the roommate thing, you'll probably be okay, but remember above all that living with roommates in New York is not necessarily going to be like an episode of "Friends." Try to get along with your roommates, but remember that ultimately this is a business deal... you're combining your funds to make ends meet.

    Maybe visit the GLBT Center on 13th Street and see if you can get involved in some of their community activities. It can be a great (and relatively inexpensive) way to meet other gay men that doesn't involve bar-hopping, nightclubs, or (necessarily) lead to indiscriminate sex with a total stranger. icon_wink.gif

    Finally, I'd suggest talking to some of the RealJock Members in New York who are about your age and trying to meet up with them. New York's a much better place when you have people there who know the terrain and are willing to show you around.

    Let us know what happens, de916.


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    Nov 06, 2007 6:47 PM GMT
    I am one of those people who loves NYC, I thinbk it may be the most cosmopolitan city on the planet.

    Living in NY is very different than living almost anywhere else in the US however.

    You are only 20, so I am betting you don't have a college degree or a profession yet.

    There are a lot of service jobs in NYC, competition for them can be very fierce, you will almost certainly need more than one full time job just to make ends meet in NYC.. People come to NYC from all over the world to 'make it'; that means that they are very competitive and driven.

    NYC is a city of people who hustle, hustle, hustle... it is not for the very 'laid back'.

    New Yorkers have a rep for being hurried that many outsiders take for rudeness; but its just the pace of the city. Everything moves FAST.

    Hint: If you have never done it before, DO NOT try to use the cities Mass Transit system without a friend to help you, especially at rush hour.

    Most young people I have known in NYC live at home till well into their 20's, or share apartments with large groups of friends. It really is the only way to pay the exorbitent rents. Think the TV show 'Friends' only with more people and MUCH smaller apartments.

    IF you have never been before you may be SHOCKED at first at how SMALL apartments really are for the most part. In Manhattan itself a 'good size' 850-1000 sq ft apartment can easily go for $1800+ a month and up, up, up... even for a really bad neighborhood. A friend in NYC with whom I frequently stay told me a couple years ago that he paid $6500 a month for his upper east side 2BR; and that is definately not the ceiling. Another friend recently paid $2.6M for his studio (<600sq ft) condo downtown.

    The further you get from Manhattan you get - obviously the more 'reasonable' things get.

    NYC is great, but go and have a great visit for a couple weeks before you decide to move there.

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    Nov 06, 2007 6:56 PM GMT
    Be sure to get the names of a few quality hairdressers before you set out - you may not have friends or internet access - lest you get ripped off, or worse, end up headless!
    As an extra precaution you might consider packing a Flowbee; I think some airlines permit passengers to cut their own hair when flying first-class.
    Also, no matter where you live, always remember to keep it real.
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    Nov 06, 2007 7:03 PM GMT
    Let me save you the trouble of packing a Flowbee, de916... There's a good barber on 7th Ave between 58th and Central Park South... and a more upscale (pricey) salon on 57th Street just past 7th Avenue (heading towards Broadway). I got my hair cut at both places, and they both were excellent.

    Sorry to step on your toes, Aero... no hard feelings? icon_wink.gif
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    Nov 06, 2007 7:05 PM GMT
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    Nov 06, 2007 7:08 PM GMT
    icon_lol.gif Actually if you go to Montreal you can pretend you are still in a major NA city, the prices are a bit cheaper, and you still get a taste of the same attitude.

    The bagels are even almost as good.
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3462

    Nov 06, 2007 7:16 PM GMT

    I've lived in California almost my entire life, and in 2003 I moved to NYC to accept a promotion. I'd never been to NY before.

    There are a lot of pros and cons, but you have to just figure out the list for yourself. If you've never lived in extreme weather before, NY can be a real trial. I have a dog, so I had no choice but to go outside no matter what the weather, hot or cold.

    The biggest factor to being happy is where you live. Live in as good a neighborhood as you can afford, which isn't easy given how expensive it is to live in NY. If you're like me and you give up your car, car payments, insurance, gas, etc., then you put that difference into your rent.

    If you expect to spend a lot of time in certain areas, like gay enclaves like Chelsea, West Village, Hell's Kitchen, etc., you want to make sure the subways you live near make the areas easily accessible. We can't all live like the women on Sex in the City and take cabs everywhere. Not realistic. I lived on the Upper East Side, so getting down to Chelsea could be a haul. It's important to know that subway maintenance is done on weekends, so the line you may rely on may be out of service and you might have to take busses. So, the more routes you live near to give you options is pretty key.

    Another thing about apartments -- expect to live in a small place. I paid over $1500 for a one-bedroom of LESS than 300 square feet. Back in LA, I'm paying the same money for an apartment not quite 3 times the size. Don't move a lot of stuff if you can avoid it. Having roommates obviously helps (I wanted to live alone, so I paid extra.)

    People were friendly. There is obviously so much to do in NYC. Get out there and go to museums, explore the different neighborhoods and burroughs. Don't put off getting yourself out there. I left NY after 3 years and didn't do a fraction of what I wanted to do.

    You don't say a lot about your situation, so maybe I'm just reading into it, but it doesn't sound like you're all that prepared. You have two friends there that might be willing to help, but you don't have time to talk to them. Bad idea. You should make sure they can help you out.

    Moving to NY, especially from California, is a BIG move. I wouldn't do it lightly.
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    Nov 06, 2007 7:17 PM GMT
    Beg to differ with you, ITJock... NOBODY NOWHERE makes bagels like they do in New Yawk! icon_lol.gif
    Incidentally, head for Brooklyn if you're looking for 'em!

    Man, I'm turning into something of a shitstarter, here! Please don't hate me... okay? icon_razz.gif
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    Nov 06, 2007 7:32 PM GMT

    icon_lol.gif In my own defense I did say "almost as good"

    icon_twisted.gif You have to remember, to 95% of the country, Lenders is what they are used to. You can't educate everyone at once. icon_twisted.gif

    Ahhh... A Cuppa, a Bagel, lox, and a schmeer...
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3462

    Nov 06, 2007 7:51 PM GMT
    And let's not forget about the pizza, boys! Of course, as jocks, if you're like me, you don't have a lot of pizza. But, NY pizza is great pizza.

    And, as with bagels, it's probably thanks to the great NY tap water.
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    Nov 06, 2007 8:24 PM GMT
    I moved to New York City for the past summer and made it alright. I was 20 years old at the time. However, I had visited many times before, and even stayed with a friend as soon as I got there for three weeks before I found a place to live. It's hard to find a decent place to live with trustworthy people, and nearly impossible to do online--you have to be in the city to meet the people or to see the location. I had an internship, so I had guaranteed work lined up, and if I hadn't I doubt I would have found a job right away.

    Don't expect to live in Manhattan, or anywhere close or nice. I lived an hour from work and still paid $725 for my room. (Which is actually a very good price)

    You should start trying really hard to talk with your friends because it sounds you are not ready. NYC is great, and can be a lot of fun, but unless you have some plans lined up beforehand, you're going to have to take two or three months of grueling work and heartaches to find a place to live and work.

    Just get your shit together and don't sweat the small stuff. Good luck!
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    Nov 07, 2007 3:44 PM GMT
    For $5650 you can live above my favorite Starbucks. It's also across the street from Lips.
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    Nov 07, 2007 4:19 PM GMT
    Like I said, de916.... get ready for sticker shock with the apartments!
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    Nov 07, 2007 4:21 PM GMT
    sahem62896You're a West Village guy?

    Only in my heart.icon_smile.gif
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    Nov 07, 2007 4:30 PM GMT
    Upgrade your web browser to Firefox. It has a built-in spelling checker, so, if you don't have a strong command of the English language, it will serve both as a teaching aid, and make your writings more coherent.

    There are good people and bad people in all parts of the world. I've been in every state except Alaska, and Hawaii.

    I think I'd consider at least having a friend to travel with, and a contingency plan in place in case things don't flow like you'd like if you make the move.

    Having lived away from home since the age of 13, I well know the school of hard knocks, and that the world can be a scary place, with some pretty icky folks.

    Deep down, without knowing you, and just looking at your tone, and just knowing the bare amount of information presented here, I think I'd advise you to wait. Ending up in a fix in a big city with no Plan B, and knowing no one, can be a very lonely, and scary, place. I think I'd give you a few more years to mature. At this point, I think what your considering is ill-advised, however, as someone who worked in west coast radio and made $18 / hour at the age of 18 (I took the plunge), I understand your desire to spread your wings and explore new places and things. I think I'd wait, though: you come across as needing more time. You don't seem to be prepared / done your homework and seem to be acting on emotions. When I moved I knew where I was going, and was surrounded by relatives, if I needed them. I didn't, but, I knew they were there.
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    Nov 08, 2007 7:43 AM GMT
    Thanx guys for the advice. It's helping me to decide and make a wise decision.
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    Nov 17, 2007 12:50 AM GMT
    Come to Astoria Queens - a great neigborhood 10 mins from Manhattan with affordable rents like 1000 bucks or so. is neighborhood site.

    PM me-and goodluck