age issues?

  • a2507

    Posts: 152

    Nov 21, 2007 5:21 AM GMT
    When I was about 18, I was lucky to spend time with my grandmother (she was in her 70's) and she said to me, "you know I don't really feel all that much different inside than I did when I was 18..."

    Now to put that in context, she was 18 right at the end of World War I, and she, all of 4-11, played basketball at her girls school when the game was still all but new....and still had a pretty good shot even in her 70's.

    Somehow I had the wit to realize I was hearing something significant and as I've gotten older, I've tried to remember what she shared.

    So here I am, 50 in August, more muscular, probably in better shape than I've ever been in my life. I suspect I'm a better fuck than I was when younger too (something about practicing ;-).

    What's my point? Looking at who's been looking at me, I look back. Today one of those guys is a pretty young dude who writes the following, "people that are old enough to be my father sort of creep me out to talk to nothing personal just do...."

    Now, fucking young guys is _not_ one of my fetishes. It's not that I can't appreciate the beauty of a young man but as I've gotten older, I find a grown man's body powerfully more erotic. (Let me digress: I have a younger friend, mid-20's, ex-marine, served in Iraq, came back transformed from a suburban conservative to a progressive Democrat, chatted him up in my community college gym: he's charming, smart, built, hot young man...but having met his dad, I'd rather do his dad).

    But I do find it sad that we, as gay men, frequently can't seem to communicate across generational lines. Note that young dude's not saying he isn't interested in fucking older guys (understood/understandable), but doesn't even feel comfortable talking with!

    My reaction is that's we as a "community," as loose and diverse as we are, are poorer for this: for not being able to pass along from generation to generation what little wisdom we've scraped up.

    Curious to know what other realjock guys think...we have a range of ages here. Maybe I'm over-reacting?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 21, 2007 7:53 PM GMT
    There are difference between different age groups. You, your grandmother, and I may all feel young inside but in fact we all mature as we grow older. We have all gained wisdom from our experiences. Wisdom that can rarely be shared with younger people. People have to live to gain it. Oh, you can tell them. But they can't understand. Not really.

    I like to say: 30 is 18 with money and 50 is 30 with wisdom.

    Young guys might be kinda hot, but I find talking to them amusing at best but usually boring. They dont have the depth of experience yet. Not knocking them, I didnt either at their age.

    I find it fun observing them. Sometimes I wish I could warn them. But I know they have to live life, they cant be told.
  • DrStorm

    Posts: 185

    Nov 21, 2007 8:54 PM GMT
    I think that a lot of young guys who have the attitude:

    "people that are old enough to be my father sort of creep me out to talk to nothing personal just do"

    never had a good relationship with their own fathers or uncles or grandfathers. The weird thing is that when I came out at 25 ALL my gay friends were 35+ and I always gravitated towards older guys who had wisdom and experience to impart on me.

    I attribute this to 2 things:

    1] great relationship with my mother,father & grand parents;

    2] willingness to learn and be open minded and that I really didn't think I "knew it all";

    My parents and grandparents treated me as an adult in my late teens and not with the attitude I've seen in many adults who treat their older teenagers as a child who "should keep quite" and "what do you know?".

    I am totally blessed to have friends in my life who are in their 60s (FASTPROF on RJ)and in their 20s (VBALLJOCK9 on RJ)...I continue to learn from both of them.

    Many of our fundamental beliefs are ingrained into us at an early age by our parents and unless we change our belief systems we will perpetuate our parents and their parents belief systems and hence actions towards others.

    I just think that anyone - no matter their age who limits themselves to a certain age range is missing out on what others outside preconceived ideal ages could offer!

    I like a little chicken....I like a little beef...but no fish thanks....icon_twisted.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 21, 2007 9:15 PM GMT
    I have friends from age 20 to age 70, and I believe these friends afford me a well rounded perspective on life's big issues. If you only talk to people your own age you are living in a vaccuum and chances are life's inevitable changes, especially "mid-life crisis", will hit you guys the hardest.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2007 12:15 AM GMT
    maybe straights has better generation interaction then gays. its' much of a family relative interaction that matters most when it comes to passing down values or whatever. Since gays are pretty much a non-family social group, a old gay bar next to a trendy gay bar is pretty much as close to generation interaction as it gets.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 14, 2010 1:46 AM GMT
    I found a personals site for gay intergenerational relationships

    But yeah older guys just seem to have more going on up there (in there heads) than younger guys. id much rather have a daddy than a twinky lol
  • mizu5

    Posts: 2603

    Oct 14, 2010 2:01 AM GMT
    Meh I liek guys odler than me but not in their 40s, thoguh some are lovely to look at.

    26-32 is nce icon_razz.gif

    well really 21+ but not one udner 18 notices me,
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 14, 2010 2:12 AM GMT
    There has been so many topics regarding age discrepencies amongst gay men lately... it's kind of depressing. icon_confused.gif

    We're all people with likes/interests/dislikes etc. We should be basing our compatibility with someone based off of those instead of an arbitrary number. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 14, 2010 2:16 AM GMT
    I'm dating a very wonderful 39 year old icon_biggrin.gif

    Sometimes he jokes around pretending he's my farther, doing my stepmother complete with sex noises and pelvic thrusts...

    Can I have a free pass to be creaped out? icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 14, 2010 2:21 AM GMT
    It's not just gays. It's people in general. The younger generations and older generations have always clashed on a social and sexual level.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 14, 2010 2:22 AM GMT
    Most people (IMO) don't get to have great phenomenal sex until they're a bit older. Older as in: 30-35++ Obviously, there's exceptions to this albeit rare as far as I see it. So, maybe that sets the tune for seeking a posterity that fits your ideal; opposed to what the younger geno's can dish out..Yeaa yeaa I concur with this....icon_smile.gif
  • AvadaKedavra

    Posts: 3554

    Oct 14, 2010 2:33 AM GMT
    I am trying to figure out why older gay men are so offended when younger gay guys do not want to talk to them.

    I know my mom, aunt and uncles, and grandparents could care less if someone who is significantly younger them do not want to chit chat with them. I know for sure they would have no interest in being my friend's friend or go on a platonic date with anyone my age. This applies to people outside of my family as well like my friend's family, my older coworkers, etc.

    Why do older gay men want talk to younger gay men?

    I don't want to make any assumptions.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 14, 2010 2:59 AM GMT
    i have friends here from 18 up to older than me....the younger guys are guys that i relate to in one or more ways and it is always intellectual, but not always sexual....are some sexually hot? of course, but without being able to converse, it is a waste. To answer the question, why do we want to associate with younger guys? hell why not? they are other guys and for me, being the father of two sons 28 and 30, it is a natural tendency to want to share thoughts and ideas from both perspectives. Why can't we? we're all guys, we have hormones, like sports or working out or whatever draws us into the tribal circle.....i have never looked on age as a parameter to meet someone. When i was young I always looked upon my elders as untapped sources of wisdom and history and love....

    I still feel that, although now that source works both ways.....Keithicon_cool.gif