Why do Gay men have such big EGO'S

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2007 9:38 PM GMT
    Why dose it seem that most of the guys on here have such big ego's

    Is it because they have big muscle's and a 6 pack ?

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    Apr 27, 2007 10:48 PM GMT
    You might be confusing "egos" with low esteem / projection / false confidence.

    Even you, yourself, are afraid to show your face on the gay channel. Would a person behave so poorly in real space? I'd think not.

    True self-confidence works into every part of our lives. Many "queens" I know lash out at any level of rejection (which they set themselves up for). Others hide in the shadows while they self-loathe.

    I think you confuse egos with just plain being whiney, or poor attempts at attention grabs by being the most outlandish, etc.

    Truly confident folks don't need to hide behind things like face pics, being whiney, needlessly tolerant, etc. Truly confident folks don't need to assert their identities on others, either.

    Lots of gays resent confidence because they don't have it themselves, and often lash out at people who are happy and confident.

    I'm not sure that's what you're confusing with ego.

    I've always found it interesting how gay culture tends to be one that labels with silly names: bear, pup, queen, metro, top, bottom, boi, and a bunch of other pathetic labels.

    Call a spade a spade. A fat person is still a fat person. If you're over 20, you're no longer a boy. So on, and so on.

    No wonder folks think queers are weird. They are. Egos, or not.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2007 10:52 PM GMT
    I think a good majority are very down to earth, I have become friends with a few.

    I will bet however that "ego" will keep a guy single for the rest of your life. That self centered attitude and the fact that the next guy is not good enough for some reason is sure insurance for a long life of lonliness.

    You can hump all the guys you want, whenever you want but sharing your life with that one special person, I think makes all the difference in the world.

    I have learned more about the guys on this site through the forums than on individual profiles. I read what makes guys tick and think. Often I classify them as "hot" or "REAL JERKS".
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    Apr 27, 2007 11:01 PM GMT
    JJ, to answer your question on your profile, some guys are attached and just want to make new friends. This site is filled with information regarding fitness and other great stuff.

    Chucky, I have face pics in my private photos and those that I like, I show. Some people for whatever reason do not want to disclose themselves. I have my face up for a while and I got some rude comments from some of the guys, so I changed it to private pics.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Apr 28, 2007 1:58 AM GMT
    What are you calling huge Egos?
    Have they been rude to you?
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    Apr 29, 2007 10:50 PM GMT
    I've found everyone really nice on here so far.

    Maybe you're talking to the wrong guys!
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Apr 30, 2007 4:50 AM GMT
    ...perhaps some guys are overcompensating for some shortcomings elsewhere...

    - David
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    May 01, 2007 3:21 PM GMT
    I've found everyone here nice for the most part too. I don't think ego here is any worse than any other site gay or straight.

    I sometimes just want to laugh when I'm in a group of men that are meeting for the first time or don't know each other that well. I'll catch them and myself doing all the usual posturing while we try to figure each other out.
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    May 04, 2007 1:50 PM GMT
    I have found that anytime there is a group of gay men together there seems to be a lot of ego's out there. Like others have said thou, I also think its when they have low self-esteem and the need to try to be "better than" everyone (I think thats what there doing). But there is nothing less attractive then someone with a huge EGO!
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    May 06, 2007 12:56 PM GMT

    I agree 100%. Sexiness is all in the attitude. I once said "that a good looking hunk is like a main course in a fine restaurant, It may look great on the plate-but once you taste it, nothing worst than having to spit it out."

  • Roadcyclist

    Posts: 35

    May 06, 2007 4:04 PM GMT
    Rick.. completley agree... finding and sharing your life wiht one special person is so great... trumps all else
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    May 07, 2007 12:19 AM GMT
    I know what you mean
    Nothing worse than having the hots for a guy and then getting your hopes crushed the min you start talking to him :P
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    May 08, 2007 1:56 AM GMT
    Real confidence is, unfortunately, very rare. Most people who claim to be confident are the least confident otherwise they would'nt be telling everyone how confident they are, they would be living it with passion: and showing it by taking good care of themselves emotionally, physically, mentaly and spiritually. I think most of the guys I have encountered on this site are amazingly confident in the real sense of the word-don't know why this is, maybe the process of living in a world that probably will never fully accept the fact that being a gay man does'nt diminish in the least our sense of being a fully confident man. Maybe gay men know more about love and loving each other (generally speaking) than most straight men. However, I work out with some amazing straight guys who have a very healthy attitude and a passion for living!! It is estimated that over 63 million men are suffering from some level of depression in this country right now!! What the hell are we doing in this country to cause so much unhappiness among American men, black, white, hispnic, straight, gay-I wish I knew the answer but I suspect that one reason is that most men feel pressured to be something they may not want to be-like fatherhood, choosing a career for the money only, trying to live a straight life when you are gay and so on. To me the definition of confidence is to having the courage to be yourself and to expect good things and good people to come into your life-period!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 06, 2007 8:07 AM GMT
    I think most of us knew we were 'different' as children.

    I was attracted to males at a very young age, but went throug the straight motions as best I could just to survive. I think inside we learned not to trust our feelings of who we are as others expected us to feel and act differently. We learned to not listen or trust our own feelings we had.

    15 or 20 years of this and finally we're adults and out on our own. Finally able to explore those feelings we've supressed, but the guilt and shame has anchored deeply inside. The need to attention, approval and acceptance is great to make up for so many years of feeling inferior.

    The big bandage of accomplishment and celebrity covers the deep wounds of not measuring up to expectations and lying just to survive.

    It's more sad than annoying I find. We all just want to spin on the same planet in the same direction everyone else is. Just be accepted, love and be loved. That just doesn't happen and I doubt it ever will. Being judged is a fact. Being discriminated against is a fact. The only thing you can do is enroll a good support system that does meet those needs and you get those positive strokes. Those that don't get the next best thing they can. Illusions. When you believe an illusion it becomes a delusion.

    John Bradshaw wrote some wonderful books on the wounded inner child, the why's and how's of working those wounds into scars that barely show. Another is Leo Buscaglia. I'd also recommend Susan Forward's "Toxic Parents" and Wayne Dyer's "Pulling your own Strings." Some great reading that gives some keys how to snip those puppet strings someone sewn into our minds so many years ago that we had forgotten