You might be confusing "egos" with low esteem / projection / false confidence.
Even you, yourself, are afraid to show your face on the gay channel. Would a person behave so poorly in real space? I'd think not.
True self-confidence works into every part of our lives. Many "queens" I know lash out at any level of rejection (which they set themselves up for). Others hide in the shadows while they self-loathe.
I think you confuse egos with just plain being whiney, or poor attempts at attention grabs by being the most outlandish, etc.
Truly confident folks don't need to hide behind things like face pics, being whiney, needlessly tolerant, etc. Truly confident folks don't need to assert their identities on others, either.
Lots of gays resent confidence because they don't have it themselves, and often lash out at people who are happy and confident.
I'm not sure that's what you're confusing with ego.
I've always found it interesting how gay culture tends to be one that labels with silly names: bear, pup, queen, metro, top, bottom, boi, and a bunch of other pathetic labels.
Call a spade a spade. A fat person is still a fat person. If you're over 20, you're no longer a boy. So on, and so on.
No wonder folks think queers are weird. They are. Egos, or not.