How can I tell if my roommate is gay..

  • redheaded_dud...

    Posts: 408

    Feb 13, 2008 2:18 AM GMT
    So this is sort of a different situation than the one you're involved with, but there was this guy that was REALLY cool, and I really liked him, and it was already established that we were both gay. But, I just wasn't INTO him in THAT way. And my guess was that he wasn't into me in THAT way, either. So I was worried that if I hung out with him/around him, he'd think I was trying to get him in the sack, when I really just wanted to be his friend. So I did something that was pretty radical for me:

    I told him straight out: "I think you're a great guy, and I wanna be your friend, but I'm not after you in THAT way. You wanna go hang out?"

    It was amazing! We're basically best friends now. So what's my point and how does it relate to you? Be cool with your roommate, and be honest with him, when the time comes. And I'll agree with some of the other posters here: A few drinks help with honesty, but WARNING: just 'cuz you're drunk, don't jump his bones.
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    Feb 13, 2008 3:01 AM GMT
    Ask. He's your roommate. It's only sexuality; not something to hide in the shadows or be a pictureless about, and a small part of what defines people.

    Get some balls and be a man.
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    Feb 13, 2008 8:46 AM GMT
    If the underwear draw is mor ethan 70% labels theres your answer! Straightmen have the date pair, th emorning after pair, the special after gym pair and the rest are cheap icon_lol.gif

    Seriously tho, could it be athletic admiration that in your heightened staight of arousal you are misinterpretting?

    Ask him if he has ever been to a gay bar, you can always make up some anecdotal story to alleviate the embarrassment and I personaly think honesty i sthe best policy, or not only will he be the one without the girlfriend but you will be the one without a man either him or someone else
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    Feb 14, 2008 4:30 PM GMT
    next time you are face to face reach down a put your hand on his balls....works all the time for me,,,I bet he will really appreciate it.
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    Feb 18, 2008 7:53 AM GMT
    So . . . Fitnessman where are you? We all want to get an update.

    Plus, if you have no update, my offer still stands.icon_wink.gif
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    Jun 14, 2008 5:33 AM GMT
    First off I ant to say I'm REALLY sorry that I haven't gotten back with everyone, but I have been so busy that I just forgot about this topic (Olympic trials ae almost here and I getting ready for them). Well, things haven't really changed. One reason is that I'm just a chicken to ask and take some of the advice you guys have given me. But!!!! About a month ago I walk in tha door o my lunch form work and we all know when we've caught someone in the act of jerking off.icon_lol.gif

    He had room door open but not all the way and when stepped in the front door I notice he ran to his room door, closed it,then came out to the kitchen in a sweat. Yes he was sitting at his computer. And about 2 weeks ago I was waling up to his room and he was at the computer. I started to walk in and I notice he quickly clicked off what ever he was watching. Hmmmm. Maybe I was striaght porn. But for some strange reason I think if wasn't.
    Guys you should see all of the muscle mag's he has around his room. I mean NOT HAVING A GIRLFRIEND EVER! I have though about looking on his compter but I think if I'm one of his best friends I don't and shouldn't do that, I will lose respect and a great friend. He will tell me when he's ready. Hope to here from you guys, sorry again.
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    Jun 14, 2008 5:40 AM GMT
    You should beat it out of him.
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    Jun 20, 2008 9:55 PM GMT
    If you ask him, he won't necessarily tell you the truth.

    Instead, read his body language. Body language can be a more valid indicator of the truth, because most people don't realize what they're revealing about themselves.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jun 20, 2008 11:09 PM GMT
    He replaces your tube Crest toothpaste with lube icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jun 22, 2008 4:45 AM GMT
    Fitnessman;

    The problem is that he may be very defensive about his own sexuality.

    If you walked in and he had been jacking off, I would have said something like, "That is natural and healthy. Please don't be embarrassed."

    He may still feel embarrassed about being caught. Talk to him. Let him know you know what he was doing and he should not be ashamed.

    This may open up a conversation on sexuality.

    Also, if you are so athletic, you may be fairly hot also. You say he likes muscle magazines.

    I would plan on coming out of the shower only in a towel when he is there. Then slip and fall. Fall in such a way that the towel falls out and you are laying there naked.

    Look at his reaction.

    The bottom line is if you walk up and ask him if he is gay, he is likely to be defensive and it could go wrong.

    If you make sexuality an open topic and show off a little, you may find out naturally.

    If he is not gay, you will find out without any permanent problem in your relationship with him.

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    Jun 22, 2008 5:35 AM GMT
    sounds to me like your hot for him and want him to be gay, whats it matter what side is bread is buttered on? thing to do would be make it known somehow that you bat on the team, and leave the coming out to him.
    You run the risk of painting him into a corner and having him bolt, isnt it better to have a cool roomie that you like to hang with than a potential one off handjob/blowjob/otherjob then total awkwardness till he anounces he's leaving?
    theres an oldschool kiwi saying that applys in this situation i think 'dont screw the crew'
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    Jun 22, 2008 3:49 PM GMT
    IMAGE HTTP ADDRESS GOES HEREIMAGE HTTP ADDRESS GOES HEREI forgot to mention, that I did not have a first date with a woman until I was 29. I was very shy when it came to women. Even otherwise confident people can be shy when it comes to dating. I have been married and have kids so I did get over it. This just shows that not having a girlfriend proves nothing.

    Sometimes male athletes are very concious of their sexuality. They wear revealing clothes some of which show hard ons.

    [img]http://www.eastcoastwrestlingclub.org/images/gallery/crotch3.jpg
    /img]

    The average straight male athlete could be very defensive about his sexuality.

    If you simply confront him, he may get defensive. This could lead to all kinds of problems. Instead of continuing to be friends, you could become enemies.

    You already said he was embarrassed to be caught masturbating. That is an excuse to open the topic of sexuality.

    Soft and gentle is the approach if you want a chance to have sex with him without having him as a defensive enemy.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 24, 2008 1:59 AM GMT
    icon_lol.gif
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    Jun 24, 2008 2:07 AM GMT
    Seriously, just pull your dick out and shove it in his face! Thats what I have done in the past with guys I didn't know for sure if they were gay or not and NOT ONE turned it down! Yeah a couple chewed on it, which sucked, but it answered my question! icon_lol.gif
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    Feb 15, 2011 4:18 PM GMT
    Well i think you have ore than one option,

    get it drunk !

    grab his balls( but he may be surprised and have no idea what 's the reaction is going to be )

    ask with a joking tone if he need help to jerk off !

    or the quickest way is to simply ask the question.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16518

    Feb 15, 2011 4:44 PM GMT
    I kind of laugh when I see these old threads.. and I even answered it back at the time it was first posted and I was still new to RJ.

    I just wonder what ever happened with this former RJ member, "fitnessman". He's at least 31 now.... what happened with the roommate? It would be interesting to hear.