DATING REQUIREMENTS: What are yours?

  • NickoftheNort...

    Posts: 1416

    Dec 07, 2007 8:05 AM GMT
    My three main dating requirements for a first date

    1: He has to be living
    Yes, the dead can be good-looking and may have had wonderful personalities, but, call me crazy, I like engaging in conversation where the other party's contribution is more than post-mortem gas.

    2: He has to participate within the third dimension
    I just don't feel like investing my time into dates with x-y-no-z guys and their two-dimensional "I am going to screw with your organs without you knowing" schtick nor with fancy-pants fourth dimension guys and their inevitable gloating.

    3: He has to be willing to first date in a public location
    While, yes, his lonely, quaintly run-down cabin one mile down an unmarked, unmapped road in the Nowhere Forest might be a cozy getaway from the hustle and bustle of urban living, I just see it as having more second-date potential.
  • DrStorm

    Posts: 185

    Dec 07, 2007 8:13 AM GMT
    some lofty requirements...sadly mine come to this:

    a) shows up;
    b) stays awake;
    c) doesn't ask for the $5 toll to get back across the Golden Gate Bridge.

    PEACE

    daWeatherMan
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    Dec 07, 2007 11:10 AM GMT
    i'm openminded. you just never know?
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    Dec 07, 2007 11:11 AM GMT
    Mine are pretty simple, though there's more than 3:

    1. Must be someone I'm attracted to...
    2. Must be honest
    3. Must be monogamous
    4. Must have a sense of humor (twisted, dry, or dark humor are just fine)
    5. Must think for himself
    6. Must be comfortable in his own skin
    7. Must be free of drug/alcohol addictions... been there, done that...
    8. Must be able to hold an intelligent conversation

    But I've put my list away... I don't think I'll need it anymore... icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 07, 2007 2:57 PM GMT
    He needs to be a masculine guy of great quality. Something I can bring home to Mom & Dad that I know thy might not approve of the idea but at least be happy knowing Im with a great guy. He needs to have at least been a few years in college and if not finished working had have a steady job focusing on his career. He needs to be well rounded and versed in many things. a modern day renaissance man if you will. very cultured and have an ecclectic taste in music. A fashion sense that is mixed with his own unique style that is classic and modern all at once. A guy who is confident, proud, fun-loving, and is not just in but is the know. A guy whom values family and friendships.

    damn... that might explain why I'm still single right? maybe Im just looking in the wrong places. Any Idea where to find this kind of guy? I knwo for a fact they aren't at the clubs lol.icon_lol.gif
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    Dec 07, 2007 7:04 PM GMT
    In no particular order:

    1) On time

    2) Pleasant personality

    3) Clean / well groomed

    4) Non-smkr

    5) At a good place in his life

    6) Generally happy

    7) Physically and emotionally fit

    icon_cool.gif Financially stable (not in need of my $)

    9) Truly over his last bf

    Those are a start - I expect them in others, and I bring those things to the table myself, so I don't think any of these qualities are too much to ask, do you?
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    Dec 07, 2007 7:13 PM GMT
    1) Can't smoke, do drugs, or drink in excess

    2) Must have a job... dont care what it is, but you gotta have one

    3) Must have a car

    4) Must read books, at least one a year, for entertainment purposes.

    5) Must have some sense of spirituality.

    6) must be charitable. This charity must be something that is actually beneficial, not like a political party or a lobbying group (Like the HRC)... medical conditions, poverty, etc.

    7) Cannot have or want a pet dog (Sorry... i hate dogs with a passion...)

    icon_cool.gif must be a physical person and engage in regular physical activity

    NOW i have bent these rules before, and dont mind doing them. The first three however i refuse to bend on
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    Dec 07, 2007 7:53 PM GMT
    Now with all these “requirements” a guy needs to date you boys. I was wondering what you will bring to the relationship? To me you’re not ready for a relationship unless you’re able to give to one. If your not all these things on your list your not gonna find someone or keep someone. Some of these list sounds like an ad for Sugar Daddy. I would say nothing is wrong with that but don't expect true love out of that type of union.
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    Dec 07, 2007 8:02 PM GMT
    I expect nothing that i can't give.

    I fall into all of the items i listed i look for in a guy.

    I never said that man had to be wealthy, only have a job. Guy can work at McDonalds... or swing on a pole for all i care. Just don't sell drugs or what not.

    Same for car... i drive a beat up olds... i dont care what the other guy drives.

    NOW my IDEAL man... that list is WAY longer... but that's also a dream.
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    Dec 07, 2007 8:19 PM GMT
    1) hot.

    2) humerous but serious.

    3) strong confidant personality.

    4) knows how to converse.

    5) takes care of himself.

    6) comfortable with himself.

    7) doesn't chew gum, i can't stand a girl chewing gum let alone a man.
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    Dec 07, 2007 8:25 PM GMT
    -Sense of humor (the droller, blacker, sharper, and wittier the better...wit confirms intelligence)

    -Health conscious (non-smoking, mim. drinker/drugger, holistic, exercises)

    -Curiosity about all life (plants, animals, etc...life ain't just the gay ghettos)

    -Emotional & Romantic (when we fuck I wanna share your skin not stay divided...go all the way in all ways)

    -Politically radical or progressive

    -A minimum amount of prejudice (and a high awareness of the ones he's got)

    -MUST(!) be able to not only see/hear good art and call it as such (or even bad art) but also be able to intelligently discuss opinions on an artwork

    -Must be pornographic in bed (doesn't mean you have to have done everything but at least be open to trying it once)
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    Dec 08, 2007 9:44 PM GMT
    Dating requirements.....wasn't too long ago that I was discussing this with my friends (both str8 and gay)...for me I tend to be selective:

    1. College degree or currently in college....though I do have friends that are successful without having gone through college, to me I want a guy that has a degree.

    2. A guy that is semi-to-very intellectual about the world (i.e. global warming, the latest news concerning politicians and their gay encounters in public bathrooms, etc.)

    3. A automobile...let's face it, I'm not going to drive you around or pick you up each time.

    4. Someone that leads a healthy and active lifestyle...I'm not going to run this half-marathon by myself.

    5. Someone who can make me laugh.
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    Dec 08, 2007 9:55 PM GMT
    hmm..

    - a guy who is ambitious and know what he wants..
    - non smocker .
    - independent and faithful.
    - have a similar belifes to mine ( at first I didnt care .. but now I know that they are always a spot of danger in a relationship if they don't match)..

    I can add a lot more .. but I guess I don't want to reduce the options icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Dec 09, 2007 8:48 PM GMT
    Everything I listed that I wanted used to be things I wanted that I felt I lacked but lately Im realizing that I didnt lack it I just didnt have the confidence to be that person that I always knew I was. Its like everything that I am i hid away because the social setting around me around the people that I thought were my friends... (long time friendships) were not. Amazing, I left college feeling like i wanted to get out. I was burned out from school, bullshit, drama, and needed a break and wanted to be around what I thought was home and I was familure with and low and behold I come to find myself that I was sitting among total strangers that didnt accept me for who I was but I was hiding myself away for their benifit. thoes days are over. I want exactly what I am because I know he like I will apprechiate the other for it. Ever days ia a new day for adventure and a chance to learn something new. I mjust waiting for the right guy and when hes ready Im waiting for him.
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    Dec 09, 2007 9:08 PM GMT
    1) kindness
    2) strength - mental, emotional, physical
    3) employed or at least financially responsible
    4) sexual compatibility

    But mostly, when I'm with them, do I feel good - about myself and about them...

    I'm amazed by what ISN'T on my list....

    J.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Dec 09, 2007 10:03 PM GMT
    I was going to put a list here, but after reading LOVESICK's post, I have decided not to. Just one, and it is, be nice.

    I have a man and if we could be married, we would, so I wont be dating, but be nice would be the only requirement as it covers alot.

    And LOVESICK, I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole, I have hands for thaticon_smile.gif Your very cute. You will find a nice guy that will love and respect you some day.

    Mike
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    Dec 10, 2007 2:35 PM GMT
    He's got me lovestoned and he knows it. Bah!icon_cool.gif
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    Dec 10, 2007 9:29 PM GMT
    I have found that every time I make a rule I meet someone who forces me to break it. I've had some bad experiences in the past with guys I've dated becoming abusive, so the one thing I've learned is to move very slowly and give the person enough time to reveal his true personality. I've gotten suckered in one too many times by guys who are nice and romantic at first and then turn into Satan later.

    I've decided to focus on myself and why I'm attracted to these types of guys and what I can do to change. I'm also looking at what I can do to be a great boyfriend or partner. I've made up rules for myself, which I think will be helpful if I get into another relationship.

    1) Be honest in all things, no matter how difficult it is (especially with my feelings).

    2) Don't compromise who I am to be with this man.

    3) Treat him with respect.

    Hopefully I will meet the kind of guy who can do the same. If not, I have found that being single isn't too bad at all. I don't know about the long term, but for right now it's pretty great.
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    Dec 10, 2007 10:12 PM GMT
    1) Male
    2) a pulse
    3) no incarceration order

    Other than that everything else is negotiable except personal hygene which is a given
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    Dec 10, 2007 10:18 PM GMT
    "love and respect! yadda yadda yadda! personality!"

    Oh shut up...everyone on this page would go out with an extremely hot guy if given the chance, all that superfluous bullshit wouldn't matter once he took his shirt off.
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    Dec 10, 2007 10:27 PM GMT
    Besides mutual attraction I don't think I have requirements for dating. Although, I have found that I have had better dates and relationships with men with these qualities:

    1. Around my age Done the whole older/younger thing, not really for me. I know I'm mature for my age (some people claim) but I just don't think I can get over the fact I'm dating is in their 30s and I'm only 19.

    2. Good Sense of Humor Never really had a problem with this, and I prefer not to either. If he can't make me

    3. One-on-One Dates Only A one-on-one date and hanging out with a group of our friends are NOT THE SAME THING! It really bugs when a guy will pull this one on me, thinking we will be dining alone, yet I show up and there are 3 other people there. (This has happened only once.)
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    Dec 12, 2007 1:30 PM GMT
    1. Connection. We have to be able to understand each other, if we're a poor match there's no use in going further.

    2. Attraction. He gotta be hot, naw mean?


    Erm, that's it. Everything else is just a plus. Unfortunately all the intellectual, talented gay guys I connect with are not my type at all.
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    Dec 12, 2007 1:50 PM GMT
    To be considered for a date...

    In general terms
    1)sense of humor
    2)Interesting
    3)Mutual Attraction


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    Dec 12, 2007 2:16 PM GMT
    I suppose there are some practical things I didn't include.

    Nonsmoker, I don't like kissing ashtrays but moreso my mother and brother are asthmatic.

    No drugs. It's a thing.

    Sexual compatibility, which actually means a lot more than people think about most of the time. It includes things like comfort and ability to talk about it.
  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    Dec 12, 2007 2:28 PM GMT
    I'm going to be brutally honest ...

    My very first boyfriend verbally abused me in front of our friends and out in public every chance he got. He hated that I was a weightlifter and tried to make me into a skinny as a rail twink. I'm not built like that at all.

    He told me I would never amount to anything and I let his words haunt me for many, many years.

    That is one requirement ... don't ever, EVERembarrass me nor tell me I'm worthless in any capacity. I am a very loyal boyfriend (even though I look like trouble).

    Anyway ...