I'm so confused

  • TexanMan82

    Posts: 893

    Dec 10, 2007 8:17 PM GMT
    Ok when I first came out, I pretty much came out as bisexual. As some time went by, I kind of got the pressure that I should pick one and stick with it and that I was just being greedy. So I decided that I must be gay. So I went with that.

    Now, I am starting to sort of fall for a girl I know. I've known her for a while and there's always been a "thing" between us. We even had sex about a year ago under the influence of a lot of alcohol.

    These feelings have grown stronger the past couple of weeks. Now, I'm confused. Am I bisexual? Am I lying to myself? And if I am bisexual, I worry that not many people would want to date me since they may feel that the whole world is their competition.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2007 8:22 PM GMT
    don't worry about labels and just do what you want.

    don't let society pressure you into doing anything. if you like her, go for it. simple as that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2007 8:24 PM GMT
    ditto labels are for narrowminded people with limited horizons.

    You are a person and people are unique so how can anyone label you. Just be honest and be yourself

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    Dec 10, 2007 8:39 PM GMT
    You were accused of "just being greedy" for being unsure of whether you liked guys or girls more?? Wow. That's sad.

    Seriously, it's like the other posters here have said: do what feels right for you, knowing full well that you might feel differently at another time. Sexuality exists on a sliding scale for some of us: just go with it, and don't worry about how people might judge, so long as nobody's getting hurt.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16461

    Dec 10, 2007 10:49 PM GMT
    Probably echo what has already been said. Its nobodys business except yours and while I'd assume you will be honest to whoever you ultimately are involved with (about the other sex), more power to you.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Dec 10, 2007 10:53 PM GMT
    Don't worry about other people and just listen to your feelings...
    but I wouldn't hide that you have had a gay past with this girl either...or that you've had a str8 past with the guys
  • TexanMan82

    Posts: 893

    Dec 10, 2007 11:02 PM GMT
    No I would never hide my past from her. I have every intention that if things get more serious, I would sit her down and be completely honest with her. And tell her if she has a problem with it, then we can just be friends. Plus, I'm pretty sure she has her suspicions that I'm not completely straight and narrow.

    Yeah, that's why I never wanted to tell anyone that I'm gay/bi/hermaphrodite (j/k on the last one). I'm not even 100% sure either way, so how can I just "choose" one?

    Labels are no fun.
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    Dec 10, 2007 11:03 PM GMT
    it's kind of an emotional issue from what i understand, and the labels of gay or straight, in my view, are purely sexual. i crush on girls, but in the back of my mind i'm fairly certain i wouldn't exactly enjoy being in the sack with them. so fuck labels like everyone else here has said, and if you guys have the spark go for it. if you're gonna be happy with her, then be happy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2007 11:18 PM GMT
    I say embrace your bisexuality man. Sexuality is not black or white, there are lots of shades of gray. It sounds like you are bisexual but don't get caught up on labels and just follow your heart.
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    Dec 11, 2007 12:34 AM GMT
    Labels like "gay" and "straight" don't necessarily refer to exclusive sexual activity. Gay is in many respects a state of mind. I consider myself fully gay, not even bisexual, but I was married to a woman, and I had an affair with a different woman even after having come out for some time.

    So ultimately, you can call yourself whatever you like, because it's no one's business how you see yourself, and if this chick turns you on, you can be with her, and it doesn't affect anything.

    As someone before said, though, just as long as you're honest about your past.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2007 12:45 AM GMT
    Well I am bisexual as well and I've run into a similar situation.

    I find it's socially easier to be with a girl. I try very hard not to let that influence my decision.

    In the end it's important for you to accept your true feelings about this girl.

    "Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual. The world is not to be divided into sheeps and goats. Not all things are black nor all things white. It is a fundamental of taxonomy that nature rarely deals with discrete categories. Only the human mind invents categories and tries to force facts into separated pigeon-holes. The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects. The sooner we learn this concerning human sexual behavior, the sooner we shall reach a sound understanding of the realities of sex."" -Alfred Kinsey
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13999

    Dec 11, 2007 2:41 AM GMT
    Date who you want and whoever can't deal can f*ck off. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2007 5:46 AM GMT
    Nothing wrong with the best of both worlds.

    There's a saying: fuck the fucking fuckers. No pun intended.
  • Alan95823

    Posts: 306

    Dec 11, 2007 5:50 AM GMT
    If it's love, go for it. Screw other peoples' expectations and embrace what you've found that makes you happy.

    The label doesn't make you happy, so it can cheerfully go by the wayside.
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3462

    Dec 11, 2007 5:58 AM GMT
    You can't live your life for other people or other people's judgments. If they can't deal with you being bi, that's their issue.
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    Dec 13, 2007 6:11 AM GMT
    I say date the girl....no harm done there right? Follow your heart....God made all of us sexual beings. Embrace your sexuality and go with it. If it's not meant to be, I'm sure either you will figure it out on your own.