Getting the boy in shape.

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    Dec 30, 2007 8:59 PM GMT
    Hey November...

    When my bf was studying for the Bar, he really appreciated the small things, such as giving him the time and space he needed to study, and shopping, cooking, filling his gas tank, etc. (he never asked me to do these things). I just did as much as I could without asking him and getting into all of that (more wasted time). Perhaps, for some gentle steps into a more structured excercise program, daily walks with you in the fresh outdoors instead of a gym might help manage the stress of sitting for the Bar.

    We're only talking about 6 weeks, and this is a major change for him at a critical time. I think you've adopted a lot of good points from all of the guys; however, although as you say "there will always be something," relative to "waiting until," remember that sitting for the Bar is a very big f**g deal, so be careful in implementing the baby steps for the next 6 weeks.

    Bottom line: that is one lucky guy to have YOU in his corner!

    Good luck!
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    Dec 30, 2007 9:29 PM GMT
    I appreciate it bud, thanks =)

    Filling his tank when he doesn't expect it, I hadn't thought of that...
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    Dec 30, 2007 9:54 PM GMT
    Hey, what a pleasant surprise that this topic came up! I actually just passed the bar a month or so ago, and know what your bf is going through. Though I stuck to a regular fitness routine to destress, I would strongly suggest NOT starting anything until after the bar. Any life changes at all tend to disrupt the "flow" so to speak. BF and your goal A#1 should be PASSING THAT BAR.

    Losing weight is a distant goal to be started when those 14 hour study days are over. He should be spending about 8 hours a day on BarBri and about 3-4 on PMBR, with sleeping and eating. Trying to start some sort of weight loss regimen will get in the way, and could provide too much of a distraction...things will only get worse closer to the bar.

    It's like the course instructors say...do not make huge life changes. Put off a divorce or breakup, do not try and quit smoking, and just stick to a regular routine. Once that bar is over, you and boy toy can get on the treadmill to your hearts' contents! Trust me, he will appreciate it more then than now.
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    Dec 30, 2007 11:31 PM GMT
    If your b/f is heavy or has a stocky build I would suggest getting the Brooks "Beast" shoes; he will need them. That is what I use to make sure I don't damage my knees. They are awesome shoes for the heavier guy to walk and run with. I wear them most all the time. They are so comfortable.

    They are a little pricey but worth it. You can get good deals online. Just shop around.
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    Dec 31, 2007 4:46 AM GMT
    I'll bet you have already switched out chips or other bad things for something good like carrot sticks. I also squeeze 1/4 glass of grapefruit juice into my water - which helped me kick diet sodas - he may like that too. Also - along with cardio - rope jumping - how about a run together each day? Having you run with him should make it more fun - and maybe a shower and a "cool-down period" when you both finish your run would help keep him excited about his cardio regime!
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    Dec 31, 2007 12:27 PM GMT
    Maybe I oughta get him a juicer as a late christmas gift... boy puts back a lot of sprite zero for some reason.

    According to him, he's too busy for nookie except in quick, dirty, well planned bursts =P I can deal with that.
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    Dec 31, 2007 2:51 PM GMT
    NovemberMikeWhy's that?


    Because nobody can do it but him.
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    Dec 31, 2007 3:54 PM GMT
    Oooh, a lawyer ay? Have you ever seen an in-shape lawyer? I sure haven't. If that is his chosen profession, you had better just ready yourself now for an increase in waist line as well as earning potential.

    In addition, health and fitness is a choice. It sounds like he has chosen something besides that because even when I was working full time and going to school full time I kept the body on point.

    He's focused on the job now. I'd advise you back off the whole fitness thing for a while because the boy don't wanna hear it. LOL, give him some breathing room. He's gonna need it!
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    Dec 31, 2007 5:46 PM GMT
    I think you should focus on positive things he can do which will help his stress levels, and avoid any negative things until later. So for example, giving him specific exercise goals that are flexible, such as "ride a stationary bike for 30 minutes at least three times a week", and do three sets of 20 pushups and 20 situps at least three times a week, would be good. Instead of trying to get him to diet, ask him to eat specific foods, something like "eat breakfast every day, and eat a banana or other fruit and a protein bar first at lunch every day, before you eat anything else, and have a protein shake every afternoon at 4 PM." These things will help him work on his metabolism and reduce the bad things he might eat without prohibiting him from doing anything.

    Just my suggestion at ways to help without increasing stress. After he passes the bar, you can work on things like "no soft drinks" etc.

    PS- while I agree that he has to have the motivation himself, I do think that positive encouragement and instruction on good habits can contribute greatly to a person's progress. Just knowing that my boyfriend notices and appreciate improvements, and thinking about him while working out has helped me a lot. I was working out for myself before, now I workout for myself and for someone else, and that helps even more.
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    Jan 28, 2008 10:17 PM GMT
    The key to this is preperation. You need to eat big he needs to eat small. What you both need to do is eat healthy though.

    Exercise for fat loss when he is on a time budget is hugely inefficient he would get far more benefit from the diet approach as he could be in calorie defict of 500 daily and then devote his down time to the gym 30-40 mins 3 times a week for weights.

    Cortisol and fat loss yeh its another thing against you but its not the be all and end all, no more so than insulin sensitivity for 99.(5 of the people out there when starting the ball rolling.

    You can both eat the same food, just in different quantities. Make life easy and make it fun not an arduous task that will detract from his studying
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    Feb 07, 2008 11:14 PM GMT
    I don't know how much weight or how big your BF is, but when I tipped the scale @ 260 (a true fatty), the first thing I did was change my diet.

    Exercise came after a few weeks, but by cooking my own meals I was able to know what I was eating.

    This may sound too easy, but beleive it or not, I lost weight by preparing hearty soups.

    In a huge fucking pot, throw in whole foods like fresh produce - ANY KIND! Meat? If you're not a vegetarian, use the lean stuff and flavor with "bouillon" [spelling] cubes, they are cheaper than broths.

    If you want noodles, throw those the last few minutes of cooking...they'll fall apart if overcooked.

    soups are freezer-friendly, and will last a whole week

    Upgrade as the days progress with other stuff...set aside one day to prepare and eat...

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    Mar 01, 2008 11:15 PM GMT
    I guess I'm a little late to the party on this thread, but it doesn't sound like anyone has suggested that you tell him to get a personal trainer. That's my suggestion.

    I got one just before December, for myself, because I wanted to learn how to do olympic lifts properly (squats, deadlifts and cleans). After I had been doing it for a few weeks (and noticing some nice improvements in my body), my partner started thinking of using a PT.

    Now, he had been saying for years that he wanted to lose some weight, and I had been trying to tell him for years that running will only get you so far, you probably need a really strict diet, no ranch dressing, ice cream anytime but post workout will cause an unwanted insulin spike that will cause you to gain weight, resistance training increases your metabolism, etc. I had even bought books telling how to do it (Body For Life is great, so's Fat Wars). None of it seemed to help.

    So when he asked me to talk to my personal trainer and see what they could do, my personal trainer asked me about him a bit. I told him a bit, and mentioned that I had been telling my partner for years to do weights, but that he didn't like weights. My personal trainer laughed, and said: "Leave that to me. I'll tell him the bad news. Then it won't affect you guys."

    I've found that I can tell my partner something over and over again, and it looks like he's listening, but it isn't until someone else tells him that he starts to think about it seriously. And of course, I do the same thing.

    So anyways, my suggestion is to get him to talk to a personal trainer. That should take any stress out of the equation for you at least, and the personal trainer won't have any motivation to sugar coat anything with him.

    Hope that helps.