Whoa BarStar.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 15, 2007 9:37 AM GMT
    So ive found myself going to the bars alot even tho im only 18. (19 being legal in SK) Aside from it being illegal, ive realised all my friends are BarStars. Not only are they BarStars...but they look damn good. On the other hand i dont, and for some reason they see no problem in going to the bar with me. Im definatly over wieght, dont look nearly as good as they do in clothes, and definatly dont feel as comfortable as i used to...I have no idea how to dress when i go out, i like to dress comfortable as far as i know. My question is...how do you dress and can you give me any tips on bars and dress code and what not...Also i have a slight drinking problem especially when it comes to guiness beer. I work 6 days a week, dont have much time to werk out because i like to go out in that time. If you understand where im coming from and have advice please give it!!!

    **if this doesnt make any sence i am super tired. :P
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 15, 2007 12:22 PM GMT
    I think all you need to do is stop comparing yourself to others. And just focus on having fun. As far as dress, dress comfortably.

    Since you are 18 you have lots of opportunity to remake your outward appearance, but you are never really going to be at peace until you like you whatever way you look. I think we all learn that the hard way. Going out is not about a catwalk, or shouldn't be, it should be to have fun.

    I have a good friend who has it in the back of his mind that if he doesn't get hit on by guys when he is out, he is not having fun and leaves in a huff. This expectation just makes his nights out miserable for him and those of us who join him. And he lets it be a reflection of how he feels about himself afterwards, good if he gets hit on and bad if not.

    I purposefully go to be with the friends I am out with and just have fun. It sounds like you have good friends and therefore have everything you need.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 15, 2007 5:27 PM GMT
    I agree with MadApollo. The goal is to be comfortable with yourself. I know at 18, the goal is probably to fit in but self confidence and a feeling of self worth, truly are more important.

    It also sounds like you need to make some tough choices. Having any kind of drinking problem will do a number on you both physically and mentally. It's good that you can admit to having a problem. Now that you know and can admit it, it's time to do something about it. You also have a tough choice regading making time to work out. The drinking and lack of physical activity is a bad combination and does contribute to your weight and self confidence. It's all a vicious circle.

    Again, you have taken the first step by acknowledging your obstacles. The way you choose to respond to that information is key.

    Lastly, what does it take to be a "BarStar"? Is that something you want to be?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 15, 2007 6:11 PM GMT
    Simple and classic are always best. No need to go "trendy"......because you'll not be able to wear it in a week.
    A nice fitting pair of jeans (dark and not hanging off your ass) and a nice collared shirt or a polo, clean and pressed, always does the trick (no pun intended). If you're worried about ceratin areas of the body, keep the shirt untucked. It's all about how the clothes fit. If you need a large, for example, it may make you look like a box. Take it to a tailor and have it taken in just a bit so it skims the body......not too tight.
    Top that off with a nice clean pair of shoes and you'll be ready to go!
  • DrStorm

    Posts: 185

    May 15, 2007 6:46 PM GMT
    "Barstars"...OK, this is why I LOVE this site...I learn something new every day...

    I could devote a month of my time discussing "barstars"...but to stay on topic.

    I learned this from years of experience - it makes no difference what you look like or dress like, when you walk into a bar, half the guys wont care for you anyway (this is usually the half you find hot and attractive)and the other half will care for you (usually the half you have no interest in). But then not always.....

    I know that the younger you are, the more important material things sometimes seem to you and to those who you perceive to be interested or "should" be interested in you.

    If you walk into a bar and are unsure about yourself you project that every image to every person in the bar.

    Some general advice - whenever you wonder why guys do or do not approach you in a bar ask yourself this "would I approach me?" based on what I was wearing/looked like/behaved. You have your answer right there. If was overweight I doubt I would want to wear a spandex bodysuit. Likewise if I spent hours in a gym and on the field getting a smokin' body then I prb would want to show it off if I wanted to attract attention or not.

    If you feel good in designer clothes, then wear them. If you feel good in a white T and jeans wear that. When you feel good about yourself you definitely project it to others. One of the most attractive qualities I find in a guy at a bar (regardless of what he looks like) is the one who is smiling/laughing - not standing in the corner with his arms folded with a scowl on his face.

    Some good advice has already been offered on this topic. The more you time you spend worrying what others think of you the less time you have to worry about YOU and what you want. Be yourself and if you dont' attract those who you think should be attracted to you, it's their loss and you they don't deserve you anyway.

    If you don't like the way you look, then do something about it. My ex was a doctor, worked 6 days a week and still found time to train over 2500miles in three months to do the Hawaii Ironman.