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Starlite Inn...

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Jan 21, 2010 2:34 PM GMT

Welcome...and enter into the Starlite Inn
I think this intro better reflects my place here...my reality...and where I dwell in this castle...but your welcome to come join me...it gets lonely down here sometimes...sometimes strange wierd odd creatures show up...some angels, others beasts...now come, before it gets late...I'll lead you to your quarters...(room)...and again...thank you for visiting Starlite Inn...

Ok...I made the biggest blooper/blunder of them all...I deleted my own post...
Some of you are probablly like 'good' I was trying to delete a post...and instead deleted the whole thread or topic...
So I have to start a new one....but here is a link to the old post that I was able to save...so if you want to go back and read the old stuff...feel free...
Commentary (dizzy starlite waits for old thread to appear but nothing happens)

Umm...well ok...never mind...it has all vanished...days and days of work...all gone...
The below photo of myself is how i feel right now...dizzy...I truly do have many different personas...and my photos allow my to show all my different sides in a physical way...but right now I feel goofy, dizzy and dingy for deleting my own thread which I put so much hard work and thought behind...

Commentary (Dizzy starlite tries to link realjock photo of self to page...but it doesnt work)

Umm....ok...that did not work either...oh I just want to cry...it's all lost, it's all gone...

Hours and hours of intellectual work...

I'll never amount to anything...

I can't even manage and run a simple thread post without messing up...

Ok...time to re-group...where's a napkin...
Oh well, back to the drawing board...now I'll have to re-explain why I started this blog, journal, chronicle all over again...

Oh I just want to cry somemore...

It won't make sense to those who just start reading this without the previous 6-9 posts...it won't make sense at all....

Commentary...(In order to make self feel better...starlite is stuffing their face with a plate of spagetti and a boloni sandwich, with cheese)

I'll be back after i regain my composure...

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Jan 21, 2010 3:10 PM GMT

LOL, well we did wonder what happened!!

Hope the spaghetti was good comfort food. For us a comfort food is (horrors!) chips n gravy.

-Doug of meninlove

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Jan 21, 2010 3:40 PM GMT

meninlove said LOL, well we did wonder what happened!!

Hope the spaghetti was good comfort food. For us a comfort food is (horrors!) chips n gravy.

-Doug of meninlove

Thank you guys...please just hug me while I cry somemore...

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Jan 21, 2010 6:47 PM GMT

Star Date 01/21/2010 01:25 PM

Hi...ok I'm feeling a bit better...better enough to upload two more photos...

For those of you that like Bondage...I uploaded one that might interest you...I mean it's rated G...or at least adult G...but they might put it in the adult tab...

I like being theatrical and living out different roles through photos...I can be a clown at times and like having fun...you have to in my world...

So many people that I see...that are much younger...are so so uptight...cause I guess when your younger...your more insecure...and actually care what people think...but when you get older...you learn that unless those people are going to take care of you and provide...than who cares what they think...loosen up...relax...

It's raining hard here right now...a convient excuse for me not to go out...shcucks....

In a way...I'm glad I accidently deleted the other thread...cause now I can start fresh...

But the reason I started it was cause I got tired of chasing people around on other threads who never responded...it all felt so empty and void...like running around empty halls...while barefeet...all ya hear is the tapping of your sexy little feet on the marble floors, and nothing else...

So i figured I'd set up 'Starlite Central'

right here...that way people who want contact me know exactly where to find me and what I'm up to all the time...I'm right here for you ok...and by the way..

I don't care if your...
1.fat
2.thin
3.old
4.bald
5. muscular
6. short
7. blck
8. white
9 Russian
10. Japanesse
11. hairy, big, brown, light, have a chizeled body or not....

I just don't care...no one is 'throw away' to me...
i'm not shallow like that...everyone has value...I may not go to bed with you or let you hump me

but there is more to life than humping ya know...(Tiger Woods, are you reading this?)

Anyways...If you just want to read and not comment...that's fine...I still love ya...lot's more to follow...

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Jan 21, 2010 9:07 PM GMT

Star Date 01/21/2010

Ok...I'm still realing from some other hot topic threads I was just on...talking to myself...
But i will say this...I think as a whole...hetrosexual people are more kind and open and friendly and less prejiduce and jugdemental...than the gay community as a whole...

I have much better dialogue and interaction when I go to 'Non' gay forums than on here....
I'm learning a lot though...some myths are being cleared up for me daily...this is how you learn...by experiencing things for yourself...

What the gay community is more of, and that is 'polite'...their more sensitive to knowing how it feels like to be 'picket on'...so in that sense they may have the ability to grit their teeth a little better than someone who has never been persicuted...

In other words...when I go to other forums...I get a lot more interaction from everyone, but I also get called a lot of bad names and all....but when I go to gay only or themed forms...I get all but ignored, (but at least no name calling) unless you fit a special nitch..

So the question is
1. why is the gay community asking for the general population to be so accepting of them when within the gay community itself...there is so little acceptence of others who don't fit some perfect niche?

That question will never get answered...but that has never stopped me from asking...
My personality has nothing to do with my sexual exploration...
I would be this way no matter what I was, as stated in another thread...

Either your warm and fuzzy or your not...ones sexuality in no way effects their ability to 'love' others...

I'm telling you...this is better than school...

Well like for instance...I sent someone a mail today...asking about the building in the background...and they did not respond...I can imagine what they did...

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Jan 21, 2010 9:25 PM GMT

Example...

Today I sent someone a mail asking about the building in the background...
They did not respond, even though they were on line...
Here is what probablly occured.
1. they recieved my mail and opened it then read the question..
2. Before they answered...the hit my profile to see if I was someone they would want to relate to or sleep with...
3. In their mind, i probablly was not either of the above...
4. So they deleted my mail and went about their business..

Now I ask you, what kind of behavior is that? Is that love?

If the gay community isnt about love and acceptance...what's with the rainbow flag and all?
Is all that a farse? Have I been misled?

On the other hand...the hunch back of notre dame could write me...and I'd write back...and love them...

I wouldnt look at their photo and say to myself 'oops, wrong color or wrong body type or to old or to young or to this or to that..."
I find that extremely shallow...

Like I said...I'm really learning alot here...

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Jan 21, 2010 11:08 PM GMT

Ok...that person I was telling you about just wrote me back...ok...foot in the mouth...but why did it take them so long?

And I've written others who havent wrote back or responed...so I just figured they would do the same...

Ok, now I'm nervious to open it...what if their upset, what if they curse me out?
What if their mad at me...I'm nervious to open it...

Hang on...I'll be back...I'm going to open their mail and hope for the best...I'll open another window so I can keep this open...pause...

Ok, I'm back...he did not yell at me or anything...he was nice and simply answered the question...ok...so I apologize...

I was wrong...at least with him....

But why are people so shy on here?
Just because you chat with someone doesnt mean you have to sleep with them, make love and get married...
People facinate me...of all stripes...I love learning about different personalities...how people think, function..their limits, their ways...their fears. strenths...I love it all...

Anyways...I was wrong about that guy not mailing me back..cause they did...finally...and I thanked them and told them i would apologize publicly...
I will be back soon with more...

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Jan 21, 2010 11:33 PM GMT

Star Date 01/21/2010 06:17 pm

Hi, I love to write...I may call that lady back after this...just to see how she's doing...here's here situation

1. She lives in a bad part of town...the hood...and the people that live above here are always playing their music really loud...24/7....
This lady...does her best to deal with it..but I think today it just got on her final nerve...so she called me...to talk..cause she knows I'm very calm and level headed...and speak...I think she found comfort in my 'softer side' my 'You go girl' side and didn't even realize it...

Isnt that why they say women like gay guys...but i'm not gay...or am I?
I don't know what I am...am I lonely or am I gay?

In real life I do know that gay guys like me...and have tooken advantage of my goofyness...but I was so lonely that I did not care...but does that make me gay or lonely?
I'm just me...am I bi-sexual? If I find both certain males and certain females have certain feetures that I like...does that make me bi?

Or just honest?
Lets take feet...feet are feet to me...feet are genderless organs...either they're well kept or they're not...

In the summer when everyone wears sandals...I look at feet...cute feet are cute feet regardless of whom their attached to...some guys have nice feet and some women have nice feet...if I happen to like how a guys foot looks...am I bi or gay?

maybe I'm bi...cause I think sexy is sexy, regardless of gender...I like women and I like males... I like the whole spectrum....but many women in the south don't relate to me,
Cause I'm a hippie minded induvisual...most women raised in the south arent hippie minded...their traditionalist....they see things in a black and white tone...they want their men to be rock hard roughnecks who eat meat and potatos....

Am I rattling on again...

I'm sorry...I told you I like to write...

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Jan 22, 2010 12:55 AM GMT

I think I need to find a more 'feminized' male forum...

Cause the males on here act and behave just like hetro males...very reserved and calculated...yawn...

That's why I tend to like the 'girly' types...cause they tend to have 'personality' 'flare'....and that's what I like...
I'm hollywood...I like bright lights and glitter...I thought maybe this was the spot for me...I was wrong..

So i will continue my search...not that I'll leave here...cause there's people who read this that may learn something from what I have chronicaled...

"There's always the silent reader type who just reads to learn...

So I will continue my search...I joined a crossdressing forum once...but they were more strict than a church as far as photos...

Anyways...if I don't come back tonight...have a good night...but I may come back later just to see if that one guy who likes me is on here...now he..or they...they have the life and energy I like...yes!

But then again...maybe that's the mistake I'm making...I'm assuming that just because people are gay or trans or this or that...that somehow they got 'personality'....If I want entertainers...maybe I should seek out an entertainment forum or a arts forum...and then that way if there are gay people there...I'll have more in common with them...Ok...just had a learning moment...later...

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Jan 22, 2010 9:53 AM GMT

Star Date 01/22/2010 04:18 am

Hi, went to bed early, so I woke up early...I did indeed join another forum..haven't posted yet...but will soon...it's more discusion orientated...

I had a dream of a giant 747 jetliner taking off...(chrome colored) and turning or banking to the left...and then running out of fuel...and crashing to the ground....
I had dreams of 2 747's last night...one was being used more as ground transport by a 'A' team type operation...(don't ask...it was a dream, can't really make sense of it)

I also had a dream i was sitting down in a public cafeteria...and some guy kept wanting to drink from my milk carton...I let them do it once...but when the asked again I got annoyed and told them 'no'...

I had lot's of other dreams too, just can't remember them...

It's finally warming up here a bit...

I'm listening to JT the brick, on the radio...me and Tom Looney use to email...JTs side kick...and yes, I would send him photos...not nasty...just artsy...

Well anyways...it's early...just thought I'de report in...but rather than send this...I'll just pause...in case more thoughts come to my mind...pause...

4:47am...well no more relavant thoughts have come to mind...
so I will sign off and go back to la la land...
That one mystery fella did check in tonight and comment...but I was signed out...
back soon...

BarettaB80

Posts: 141

Jan 22, 2010 10:18 AM GMT

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Jan 22, 2010 2:10 PM GMT

Star Date 02/2102010 08:53am

Hello, this is my blog...and to answer the above posters questions 'why am I talking to myself'...a blog..duh...there's millions of them...a blog is like an open journal...for all to read and learn from or comment about...

Why did I start it?
Cause I kept leaving comments on threads...but got no response...so to me it was the same thing...basically writing to yourself...so I figured instead of just chasing hundreds of empty threads around where no one ever goes back and checks...why not just centralize all my thoughts and comments on one page...

Starlite Central

...that way to those who are sociable or who just like to read, they can always come here and I will respond to them everytime...you always have a friend here.

I joined another forum and was on it this morning...much more topic orientated...thread tracking ability...so that you know when someone responds to you...
It's just more lively...and people, be it they straight, gay, female, old, black, white asian or whatever...actually respond...

I mean if this is what 'gay' is...meaning...never talking to no one...hanging out in the shadows...being coy about everything, only chatting with those who have perfect magazine cover chizeled bodies...than maybe I've been decieved...

I came here cause I thought the 'hetro' world was shallow...but now I'm beggining to wonder...

I love life. and I love to talk and chatter...that's what I came here for...I don't have time for games...and manuvering and all that...I'm starlite...I shine wherever I go...and people who like light are drawn in...those who dont...run...

And by the way...I love Tom Cruise...well at least as an actor...expecially in War of the worlds...oh what a good movie...

Anyways...I posted another photo for those who are interested...

am I crazy? no...I think it's more crazy and odd to not talk than to talk...to me silence is what I find creepy and shady...good day...

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Jan 22, 2010 2:23 PM GMT

https://www.blogger.com/start

This might prove to be a more useful resource than posting a thread in a gay user forum and calling that thread your blog.

Give it a shot.

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Jan 22, 2010 2:35 PM GMT

That poster implies that I'm crazy?
Yet they have an ear for a photo...
and leave a coyish captioned photo to make some kind of point....that's not odd? Creepy?

Why could they not have just introduced themself and said 'hi, my name is such and such?
I compare what they did, to me walking in a park...and someone crouched behind the bushes...throws, an egg at me...but misses....

But that's ok...continue on with your wierd odd behavior...cause I'm learning more and more with each new day...

And I want others to learn to...as they read these posts of mine...

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Jan 22, 2010 2:45 PM GMT

reppaT saidhttps://www.blogger.com/start

This might prove to be a more useful resource than posting a thread in a gay user forum and calling that thread your blog.

Give it a shot.

Ok...I will think about it...at least you were constructive with your response..

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Jan 22, 2010 2:57 PM GMT

That guy that responded to me has a nice chest...he's large and built like a tank...wow!!

But why are people trying to scoot me out of here?

Why can't they just be my friend?

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Jan 22, 2010 3:01 PM GMT

Starlite, Bill has just vamoosed to work (wah) so I'm posting solo.

I've been enjoying your posts here and the questions you've presented. Much of it (about straight vs gay forums) is right but only when I compare it to RJ. Other gay sites I've been on are pretty friendly (this one is too, but there are also a lot of ascerbic personalities on here as well) and we've had friends from another site drop by to meet us in person (one came from France!).

This site is a bit of an enigma...we're very close to Vancouver, yet haven't even spoken to a Vancouver RJ member over the phone!

Go figure, lol!

-Doug

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Jan 22, 2010 3:06 PM GMT

Starlite saidThat guy that responded to me has a nice chest...he's large and built like a tank...wow!!

But why are people trying to scoot me out of here?

Why can't they just be my friend?

No, I'm not trying to scoot you out of here. I'm merely offering some assistance, and some insight into the difference b/t a blog and a forum.

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Jan 22, 2010 3:13 PM GMT

Hey reppaT (omg forgive us it's taken us this long to realize who you are!!lol).

Good advice about the blog and the link. Perhaps our Starlite is here because he's attracted. That's always a nice compliment, and I agree with his remark about your chest.

-Doug

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Jan 22, 2010 7:01 PM GMT

meninlove said Starlite, Bill has just vamoosed to work (wah) so I'm posting solo.

I've been enjoying your posts here and the questions you've presented. Much of it (about straight vs gay forums) is right but only when I compare it to RJ. Other gay sites I've been on are pretty friendly (this one is too, but there are also a lot of ascerbic personalities on here as well) and we've had friends from another site drop by to meet us in person (one came from France!).

This site is a bit of an enigma...we're very close to Vancouver, yet haven't even spoken to a Vancouver RJ member over the phone!

Go figure, lol!

-Doug

Hi...thanks for sharing that...now please just give me a hug...I need a comfort hug right now...

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Jan 22, 2010 7:06 PM GMT

reppaT said
Starlite saidThat guy that responded to me has a nice chest...he's large and built like a tank...wow!!

But why are people trying to scoot me out of here?

Why can't they just be my friend?

No, I'm not trying to scoot you out of here. I'm merely offering some assistance, and some insight into the difference b/t a blog and a forum.

And I do appreciate that...I guess that other poster...with the close up photo of an 'ear' in their avater...just had me feeling a bit weary at that moment...
I hope you will pardon my cynicalism...at that particular moment...

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Jan 22, 2010 7:35 PM GMT

Star Date 01/22/2010 02:07pm

Hi, I went back to bed, cause I woke up early...so I got sleepy again...
Times are tough for all of us...I guess...for some their wonderful...it's a up and down hill thing...
But I don't want to bring my wordly problems to this forum...I come here to escape that...
To the two posters who posted here earlier...reppaT and meninlove...
Thank you so much...acknowledgment that I'm here really means a lot to me...
I know sometimes I can be a pest...but that's because I'm an emotional needy person...I'm like the cat that always follows you around and meows...
Even at 02:00 am in the morning...
I'm an emotionally needy person...some would never admit that, because it makes them feel weak to do so...not me...I already know I'm weak and imperfect...that's why I don't bother trying to act 'tough' anymore...

I'm intellectually tough...but when I use to try to act physically tough, it gave people the impression that I had everything I needed...that somehow I always had everything under control...

Not even millionares have everything under control...let alone those of us who struggle on a day to day basis...I am weak and vunerable...that's why I need 'love'...

and that's why I'm so able or willing to give it...and no, I don't just mean humping in bed type of love...although that would probablly be great excercise...I guess...I don't know...
Anyhow...just be my cyber friend, please...just be there for me every now and then on here...help make me feel whole...a little here...a little there...it all adds up...That's what relationships are for...to strenthen you...to give you the emotional fuel to go out and do what your suppose to do...
Most get that from close family or real life friends...but I have neither in this area...
So I depend on the cyber world for that...
Anyways...just wanted to thank you two...I've gotta go off and do some things...a hug to the both of yaz (mafia talk)...

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Jan 23, 2010 2:41 AM GMT

Star Date 01/22/2010 09:15 pm

Hi, just writing to say have a good Friday night...I don't feel like being on here much tonight...I did join another forum...and it kinda has my interest now....not only that...but my mood has changed a bit...

Fitness
I did buy a punching bag a few weeks ago...it stands on a pole and has a fig shaped pad on top...you fill the base with water or sand to stabalize it...then you punch away...theres a spring at the pole...so when you punch the pad...it springs back...I purchased it at the sports authorit...
I also purchased a jump rope long ago...which I never use...and some kind of push up dinga magig...but I never use none of it...

Working out is not really fun to me anymore...I'm thin whether I work out or not...but I also know being thin is no garuntee of health...
You can be thin and still have a heart attack...
And these days it seems guys are falling dead of heart attacks in thier 30's and 40's....
Life really isn't that long when you think about it...

Your here one minute...gone the next...
(Sorry, I was being distracted by Michael Savage on the radio...that guy is hyper...)

Anyhow...I'm in a solemn mood...hope everyone is safe out there and have a good night...

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Jan 23, 2010 2:45 AM GMT

lol consider yourself hugged, Starlite, and with us you get two.

Here's a little song about a star by an old favourite:

In the sky, shines a star, spaces,
Near and far, calling out, who you are
And smiling in the night.

Star light, star bright beam across the
Sky -- falling, calling can you tell me why --
Star light, star bright mighty light to see.
Shining, smiling down on you and me --

Star hides from the rain, it turns
Against the pain, fooling many in the game
While smiling in the night --

I can feel the dark, take the night,
Apart, but then, the stars come out
And lift my heart --

Believing, there´s a star, for everyone
Makes it easier, to recall, that together
For the children of the world -- there´s
A star smiling for us all

Star, shining high, cultivating my desire
Graceful in the sky
And smiling in the night

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Jan 23, 2010 2:58 AM GMT

ahhh...that is so sweet of you to think of me like that...thanks...I'm glad I get to leave the forum tonight on a good note...unlike a proposition i got in my box...some unknown person asked me if I felt like blazze blazzeing...woh!...

....ok....gulp...I tried to write them bck and tll them 'I don't think so'...but their name wasn't recognized by realjock...so I guess their unregisterd or something...oh well...
Anyhow...thanks for the song...I'll be back tomorrow...the both of you take care and keep warm...g-night...

meninlove said
lol consider yourself hugged, Starlite, and with us you get two.

Here's a little song about a star by an old favourite:

In the sky, shines a star, spaces,
Near and far, calling out, who you are
And smiling in the night.

Star light, star bright beam across the
Sky -- falling, calling can you tell me why --
Star light, star bright mighty light to see.
Shining, smiling down on you and me --

Star hides from the rain, it turns
Against the pain, fooling many in the game
While smiling in the night --

I can feel the dark, take the night,
Apart, but then, the stars come out
And lift my heart --

Believing, there´s a star, for everyone
Makes it easier, to recall, that together
For the children of the world -- there´s
A star smiling for us all

Star, shining high, cultivating my desire
Graceful in the sky
And smiling in the night

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Starlite Inn...