Gay Forums - Dating & Relationships - once we turn 40, is it over??

once we turn 40, is it over??

Posted by a hidden member.
Log in to view his profile

Jan 16, 2008 5:08 AM GMT

I am wondering, since I am getting close to the big 40, what is left out there for me? Here I am in my daily life, working out, dieting, taking good care of my body, but are all those things will be enough? It seems that no matter how much one tries to look good, there always will be a 21 yo that looks younger, better, and bigger than us. I know that I set higher standards, but how can one still remaind on the top?How can we compete out there?? Specially in our gay community that values so much youthfullness, beauty, and perfect bodies, how can we get back into the game??

QUOTE REPORT SPAM
Posted by a hidden member.
Log in to view his profile

Jan 16, 2008 6:58 AM GMT

/shrug my parents are 43 now, both look as if theyre in their late 20s, maybe early 30ths when they clean up. My dad was in the army for 20 years, retired, worked at a shipward for a bit, then went back to college and became a waiter/bartender. My mom was doing nursing and switched to massage therapy with a bunch of other jobs before that. Doesn't exactly answer your question but theres some relevance. All you can really do is eat foods that keep collagen levels up, keep your sex drive goin, keep the metabolism up, dont fall into a slump and hope that your DNA works for you. Hopefully by the time I'm 40 stem cells and hormone therapy will reduce the effects of aging or wont kill pocketbooks of everyone who arnt celebrities. As far as the guys and their supposed better features, a lot of them are so narcissistic that you want to cram donuts down their throat till they come out of their eye sockets. Oh yeah, never lose the confidence or your done for.

QUOTE REPORT SPAM
Posted by a hidden member.
Log in to view his profile

Jan 16, 2008 11:26 AM GMT

Is it over at 40? Dear heavens I hope not... because if it is, I'm 5 1/2 years past "over" and nobody sent me that memo.

Seriously, and it might sound cliche, age is only a number and an attitude. Sure, there's things your body goes through as you age, but you'll only get "old" if you think you're "old". Take the best care of yourself and your health that you possibly can, and don't buy into all the lies about age. Most people that don't know my age don't believe that I'm 45, because I take care of myself and I don't act my age at all. I refuse to get old... I can't stop aging, but I can stop myself from getting old.

And as far as dating, hook ups, and even finding "Mr Wonderful" is concerned... nope, that's not over either. Otherwise, I wouldn't have found the man of my dreams at my age... especially considering that he's 8 years younger than I am.

Turning 40 is not fatal... unless you believe it is.

QUOTE REPORT SPAM

Posted by a hidden member.
Log in to view his profile

Jan 16, 2008 12:24 PM GMT

Yeah....it's over if you still want to wear club kid clothes and sleep with 21 year olds.

If you want to hang with fit, attractive people of your own age, no, it's not remotely over.

Your choice.

QUOTE REPORT SPAM
Posted by a hidden member.
Log in to view his profile

Jan 16, 2008 12:36 PM GMT

I frequently have this discussion with my friends who are in their mid-40s. We generally come to the agreement that we're having the best years of our lives. We're maximizing our earning power; we have acquired enough wisdom to put our life experiences to good use; we look and feel great; and we associate with people who view life through the same prism.

QUOTE REPORT SPAM
Posted by a hidden member.
Log in to view his profile

Jan 16, 2008 12:44 PM GMT

jockchicago37 saidI know that I set higher standards, but how can one still remaind on the top?How can we compete out there?? Specially in our gay community that values so much youthfullness, beauty, and perfect bodies, how can we get back into the game??

Perhaps you could subscribe to different values?

QUOTE REPORT SPAM
Posted by a hidden member.
Log in to view his profile

Jan 16, 2008 1:05 PM GMT

JockChicago:

That is a relative question. You are obviously attracted to younger guys. That is why you think the 21 year olds have a hotter body then you at 40.

I on the other hand find men your age far more attractive and sexy then the boys my age. I do not care for people my own age. Yes they can be attractive, but I think men are hotter then boys.

A lot of young guys are just developing their body and trying to find that balance for the healthy lifestyle. They are doing a major overhaul renovation on their bodies and life. Men around your age, who are healthy and have a body, already know what to do. They are just maintaining and refining.

Yes the majority of gay men like the young for some reason, but there will always be guys who like the older crowd.

I put you on my hotlist, and I think you are the youngest one. Just relax. You are a stud.

QUOTE REPORT SPAM
Posted by a hidden member.
Log in to view his profile

Jan 16, 2008 1:12 PM GMT

Nothing to worry about Jock.....there is plenty out there. You should just relax and enjoy your 40's. You're a good looking guy. It will find you!

QUOTE REPORT SPAM
Posted by a hidden member.
Log in to view his profile

Jan 16, 2008 1:51 PM GMT

My 40s were great; my 50s are looking even better. I would, of course, in some ways, like to be 25 again, but that's not happening. Being a good 52 is working well right now.

QUOTE REPORT SPAM
Posted by a hidden member.
Log in to view his profile

Jan 16, 2008 1:57 PM GMT

We have flexible bodies and minds that can change for different places and environments. For example you can get used to different kinds of music through immersing yourself in it. By doing this you begin to understand what is good, beautiful, badly executed, etc.

As we get older things change. But there is beauty, sexual beauty too. Context is very import.

Begin to try to see yourself from a 20 something's place. How would you see yourself? Look at others your own age, how do you see them?

I saw your pictures and you are really hot! Look around, people at 40 can look like they are sixty! Some at 50 look really hot. Just do a search for 40 and over on this site. I guarantee you find many very hot guys.

Be content with what you have and keep moving forward. Don't look back.

Frank

QUOTE REPORT SPAM
Posted by a hidden member.
Log in to view his profile

Jan 16, 2008 2:24 PM GMT

Are you kidding? I love my 40's and looking forward to my 50's.

I would never go back to my 20's...omg I did not know CRAP!

Yes my hair has started to receed. I may have to work out a little harder but I know a lot of 20 olds who would love to be in the shape that I'm in.

I never went through that birthday milestone crisis.
I am just happy to celebrate another birthday.
It's a fact of life that we get older why get so worked up about it.

Your're 37 years old and you are worried about turning 40 already I don't get it.

There will always be someone younger and older than and hotter.

For me it has always been more important to be the best person that I can be and to treat my fellows humans with dignity and respect.

Maintain a strong sense of self and humanity.

QUOTE REPORT SPAM
Posted by a hidden member.
Log in to view his profile

Jan 16, 2008 2:32 PM GMT

Dont worry about it!. I am 42 and my life was getting more and more exiciting the older I become. Believe me there a lot of young sexy guy out there who are attracted to a point of obsession to older mature men. There use to be time I am struggling to survive , no money, foolish and inmature. But when you get older you start to be more comfortable, financially scure, gain more knowlegde and wisdom and yes, you get better in bed. Who can resist a guy like that?

QUOTE REPORT SPAM
irishkcguy

Posts: 780

Jan 16, 2008 2:35 PM GMT

I think this topic is sad. I will turn 40 in 2008 and I don't plan on celebrating my birthday by blowing my brains out because it's "over for me." There is nothing wrong with trying to compete with 21 year olds when you're 21, but when you're 40 it's pretty embarrassing. A more mature person should have a more mature attitude toward life and what is really valuable in it. Getting older is inevitable and it beats the hell out of the alternative.

QUOTE REPORT SPAM
Posted by a hidden member.
Log in to view his profile

Jan 16, 2008 2:39 PM GMT

Am I the only one who thinks JockChicago is just jerking our collective chain?

1) If those pictures are remotely current, he's got nothing to worry about.

2) He states in his profile that his sense of humor derives from an upbringing in Brazil...

QUOTE REPORT SPAM
Posted by a hidden member.
Log in to view his profile

Jan 16, 2008 2:44 PM GMT

Dude, it is so over.

QUOTE REPORT SPAM
SoDakGuy

Posts: 1862

Jan 16, 2008 2:54 PM GMT

Okay ... it isn't over when you turn 40. I have many 2 ex-bfs that are in their mid to late 40s and I can tell you their life is not over.

Actually, they're more fun NOW than they were when they were younger.

I'm 30 and didn't it use to be said that gay life is over after 30? I know that's not true.

You have to be happy w/ who you are, regardless of age.

QUOTE REPORT SPAM
Posted by a hidden member.
Log in to view his profile

Jan 16, 2008 3:28 PM GMT

Hey Jock,

I think you look amazing for any age! I think you just need to work on your mind set a bit. At any age if you want to be happy I have found it’s better to focus on your relationships with other people, and acceptance of yourself. I am sure there are 23 year olds asking the same questions you are because 24 is just around the corner.lol..

QUOTE REPORT SPAM
Posted by a hidden member.
Log in to view his profile

Jan 16, 2008 3:56 PM GMT

I've never gone for the 20somethings even when I was a 20something. I always liked MEN, meaning in their 30s and 40s. Therefore it drives me crazy to meet a great guy who is around 40 who is chasing a 21 year old. There are plenty of hot guys in their 20s and some of them are mature for their age, but I'd rather be with a man who knows how to act. That adds to the package as much as the fitness.

That being said, my ex was in his 20s but we had a different bond that caught me by surprise, but then he turned into a typical "center of the universe" 26 year old and, well, that's why he's my ex.

I'm at the gym surrounded by the guys in their 20s and thinking Man, I look like shit! Then last year I went to my 20th year high school reunion and I was looking around at my classmates and I am thinking, Damn, I look good! LOL! So, cheer up. In the straight world we will always look ten years younger.

QUOTE REPORT SPAM
Posted by a hidden member.
Log in to view his profile

Jan 16, 2008 4:11 PM GMT

Yep, it's all over when you turn 40.

Start wearing a burka and take up knitting or embroidery. You know it makes sense.

QUOTE REPORT SPAM
Posted by a hidden member.
Log in to view his profile

Jan 16, 2008 4:11 PM GMT

thanks for all your honest answers, no I was not trying to be sarcastic nor fishing for compliments, although, I got to say, it was nice to hear all your comments. Don't take me wrong, I love my age and how I look,however, it gets harder to maintain what I have so far. I m looking for to grab 40 by the balls and make the best of it

QUOTE REPORT SPAM
Posted by a hidden member.
Log in to view his profile

Jan 16, 2008 4:18 PM GMT

One of my favorite quotes from a song is...

"Time is contagious, Everybody's getting old."

Just enjoy it. The guys who find anything over 40 as "over," are just shallow. You don't need them in your life.

Maybe men are like fine wine...They are tastier, more valuable, and better all around with age. Of course there is an expiration date on everything. Sorry. Haha

QUOTE REPORT SPAM
Posted by a hidden member.
Log in to view his profile

Jan 16, 2008 4:55 PM GMT

It doesn't matter how old you are, there's always someone who's going to standing too close to you who's younger, bigger, and better looking.
Those are nice qualities, but I'll always take older, smarter, more experienced, more refined, less fickle any day.

Of course at 50 (less than 2 months to 51), I'm happier than I was at 40 and waaaaay happier than at 30.

Feel old and you are old. Feel young, and you are young.

(Once you've had your Haley's M.O.)

QUOTE REPORT SPAM
Posted by a hidden member.
Log in to view his profile

Jan 16, 2008 5:04 PM GMT

First off, "Jock" you're absolutely BEAUTIFUL! For you to believe that it could be possibly over in your 40's is insane!! Haven't you heard that the new 20's are the 30's & so on?!?!? We now have better knowledge, education as well as experience that will take us to new & better levels as we get better/older. I'm 35 & having an AWESOME time in my life & look forward to my 40's, it's exciting for me!
Because of my experiences with men in their 40's (I prefer dating guys in their late 30's-early 50's), my only issue is the "Peter Pan Syndrome"; just grow up & handle your self appropriately & accordingly to your age & life experiences. I have run across many guys in their 40's that wanna party, behave & handle themselves like they were in the teens/20's & that is TOTALLY uncalled for!
Other than that, 40's here I come, well in another 5 years!
Jock, just take it stride, roll with it and MOST importantly, have a BLAST!

QUOTE REPORT SPAM
Posted by a hidden member.
Log in to view his profile

Jan 16, 2008 5:13 PM GMT

I found that age does not mean much if you take care of yourself and enjoy life. I am in better shape now than most of the teens and twenty somethings in my gym and I have them looking at me rather than their age group. Live life in the moment.

QUOTE REPORT SPAM
Posted by a hidden member.
Log in to view his profile

Jan 16, 2008 5:15 PM GMT

The short answer: absolutely not. At 47, my level of performance is amazing.

However, you must get honest about the value of anti-aging and hormonal manipulation. We have to change the way we view exercise performance, and there is absolutely no reason that folks have to age prematurely, end up on statins, and cholesterol drugs, when solid anti-aging meds, diet, and exercise can nip this in the bud, especially if it's started young enough.

The current hysteria against AAS is absolutely crazy. I personally know folks who been on AAS / anti-aging for nearly 40 years.

So, like I said, the short answer is absolutely not, but, there has to be an adjustment in the current taboos.

Much like aspirin can be such a major lifesaver in so many areas, so can AAS (you can't od on them like aspirin) but we have to get some folks to stand up, be counted, and demand that the current routine of dumping people onto statin, bp meds, and anti-depressants, as they reach middle age, and beyond, should NOT be the protocol of choice, but, rather, that anti-aging programs, along with exercise, diet, and fat reduction (the biggest killer, by far) need to be started in the late 20s.

Bodybuilders have known for decades now what modern medicine (except for maybe some geriatric doctors) has refused to publicly acknowledge: if you keep the levels up, you can completely change the way you age. Suzzanne Sommers was on Larry King Live this past week and talked all about it.

At 47, I pull a 9.1 to 9.9 in my hotness ratings. Folks BEG to be with me. I feel great. I haven't been sick in years. I can run circles around people half my age. There's absolutely no reason to just lay over and die. I think that's plain silly.

QUOTE REPORT SPAM

Forums > Dating & Relationships Forum Rules

once we turn 40, is it over??