Jan 17, 2008 5:20 AM GMT
After scouring the internet for a stable gay advice board, it looks like this might be the best place to get some. There's a lot of back-story before the thread's title will make sense, so, sorry for the long read. Here goes:
I'm almost 30. He's 30. Long story short: Ph. D'd, writer, athlete, scholar, prankster, romantic, family guy, cook. Everything. Amazing. One-of-a-kind.
After the first time we met after meeting for the first time, he informed me he was leaving the country for a month for work. Bummer. "No sweat," I said. He'd already made a big impression on me.
We email while he's gone, I'm the first person he sees upon returning. We hang out a few more times, dinner, dating, etc. On the 4th date he says he's leaving again, for the rest of the year (5 months). "Well shit," I say.
Now, I'm no sex addict, but I'm no Morrisey either. So I found it a bit odd that for being on our fifth or sixth date, we hadn't so much as kissed. I chalk it up to the oncoming distance, and him not wanting to seal anything. Made sense to me.
On the 7th date (the last before he leaves), I sneak in a makeout session. We both imply, in a roundabout way, that we won't date other people while the other is gone. Cute.
I decide that 5 months is way too much time to go without seeing him. Surprise, I book a flight to Europe two months later. He can't believe it and we have an amazing week to ourselves. Living together 24/7. We have sex, once.
Two months later, he returns. He surprises me by coming back a day early and making me dinner. We make-out. We don't have sex.
Now it's the fourth day of him being back. I havn't seen him since the first. And instead of having sex with him right now, I'm typing this. He's a busy guy.
Here's all the questions: Is he just not into sex? Am I nuts for expecting a "rational" amount of sex in this situation? Who spends a romantic week in Europe not fucking like rabbits? Who comes back after a 5 month hiatus not wanting to fuck like rabbits?
I've initiated every move. At certian points I think "Maybe I'm deluding myself about his interest in me", but then there's talk about birthdays... trips together... so I figure he's got to have at least a physical degree of interest? Maybe he's a homo-virgin? Which would explain a lot - but how do I find out without making him feel insecure / bringing about the awkwardness? Maybe he just doesn't like sex? Does this happen? In people? In gay people!?
Fellas, I would've taken the high road a long time ago had this been any other guy, but, I think I'm screwed (figuratively, unfortunately) because I like this one, even without the sex. Throw in the fact we're both guys not really attune to our emotional sides, and well, you get a communication clusterfuck.
Thoughts?
Thanks in advance,
-HaloExSumo
I'm almost 30. He's 30. Long story short: Ph. D'd, writer, athlete, scholar, prankster, romantic, family guy, cook. Everything. Amazing. One-of-a-kind.
After the first time we met after meeting for the first time, he informed me he was leaving the country for a month for work. Bummer. "No sweat," I said. He'd already made a big impression on me.
We email while he's gone, I'm the first person he sees upon returning. We hang out a few more times, dinner, dating, etc. On the 4th date he says he's leaving again, for the rest of the year (5 months). "Well shit," I say.
Now, I'm no sex addict, but I'm no Morrisey either. So I found it a bit odd that for being on our fifth or sixth date, we hadn't so much as kissed. I chalk it up to the oncoming distance, and him not wanting to seal anything. Made sense to me.
On the 7th date (the last before he leaves), I sneak in a makeout session. We both imply, in a roundabout way, that we won't date other people while the other is gone. Cute.
I decide that 5 months is way too much time to go without seeing him. Surprise, I book a flight to Europe two months later. He can't believe it and we have an amazing week to ourselves. Living together 24/7. We have sex, once.
Two months later, he returns. He surprises me by coming back a day early and making me dinner. We make-out. We don't have sex.
Now it's the fourth day of him being back. I havn't seen him since the first. And instead of having sex with him right now, I'm typing this. He's a busy guy.
Here's all the questions: Is he just not into sex? Am I nuts for expecting a "rational" amount of sex in this situation? Who spends a romantic week in Europe not fucking like rabbits? Who comes back after a 5 month hiatus not wanting to fuck like rabbits?
I've initiated every move. At certian points I think "Maybe I'm deluding myself about his interest in me", but then there's talk about birthdays... trips together... so I figure he's got to have at least a physical degree of interest? Maybe he's a homo-virgin? Which would explain a lot - but how do I find out without making him feel insecure / bringing about the awkwardness? Maybe he just doesn't like sex? Does this happen? In people? In gay people!?
Fellas, I would've taken the high road a long time ago had this been any other guy, but, I think I'm screwed (figuratively, unfortunately) because I like this one, even without the sex. Throw in the fact we're both guys not really attune to our emotional sides, and well, you get a communication clusterfuck.
Thoughts?
Thanks in advance,
-HaloExSumo
. 
