Suicide - self help tips !!! and tips to be aware of for the friend/onlooker that someone suffers from depression and may commit suicide.

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    Jan 23, 2008 3:10 AM GMT
    I recently read that the highest insidence of suicide is in the agegroup of 17 to 24. If you are suffering from depression and have thoughts of suicide, please tell someone. Associate as often as possible, see a doctor (you could have an imbalance that can easily be remedied, or a med you might be on may cause the depression (some achne meds can cause depression)) Get interested in something new to you, get exercize, go hiking with a friend, make it an appointment, get a pet, volunteer, helping others in worse shape than you can help yourself. If a friend mentions life isn't worth living or any other such statement, especially if he frequently says these things, by all means open the door to discuss it. If a friend suddenly cuts himself off from his friends, or never seems happy unless high, show you care by talking about it. Don't ignore it because usually someone who says something about suicide has thought about it quite a bit or they wouldn't say anything. These are cries for help !!! NOW ITS YOUR TURN !!! MANY OF YOU ARE VERY WELL VERSED OR EXPERIENCED ON THE SUBJECT AND CAN GIVE FAR BETTER ADVICE THAN I, SO IF YOU WOULD TALK ABOUT THIS. The Gay male ratio in this age range is even higher than in the general public. We may have friends or someone among us here suffering right now.
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    Jan 23, 2008 3:46 AM GMT
    Actually, your figures are way off. The highest incidence of suicide occurs between the ages 75-84. Followed by 35-44, 45-54, 65-74, 25-34, 55-64... and then, 15-24. These figures come from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention.

    However, the highest incidence of -attempted- suicide is where the problem lies. However, as you may imagine, compiling data for suicide attempts is not a practical venture.
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    Jan 23, 2008 3:49 AM GMT
    Well thanks for the info. I've never seen these stats that you show, but anyway, any pointers on helping out anyone in this danger zone? at whatever the age?
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    Jan 23, 2008 4:39 AM GMT
    Well, the trend has been an upward spiral in recent decades. But then again, so has the population. So is it a matter of an actual increase in the prevalence of suicide or are they just more numerous?

    As far as motivational advice, there is really nothing that could ameliorate the situation unless the "patient" really commits to it. There will always be that sense on their part that the problem is beyond the grasp of any professional figure or another person for that matter. To them, it is of great importance and the problem is one that no one "understands."

    I would suggest social activities, but not everyone enjoys that. Every situation is different given the context of what is causing the depression. But everyone can pull out of it. It is estimated that everyone, at some point in their life or another, is affected by depression.

    My friends think I am in this constant state of depression. I assure them I am not. I am just not a social butterfly. Reading brings me quite a lot of comfort and keeps me leveled on firm ground.
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    Jan 23, 2008 4:40 AM GMT
    I agree with realifedad that suicide is a big problem and especially in the younger age group where many young gay males often are going through an identity crisis and such. Last year in my senior class in high school there were three suicides over the course of the year, and two of them were guys who I later found out where closeted gay guys. It's unfortunate that there are so many people who end up taking their lives to try and solve their problems, and yet they only end up creating more problems for their family and friends. Taking one's life is never a solution to any kind of problem, there are always other ways to deal with the situation. People really need to pay more attention if friends start acting weird/different, or just not being themselves so that everyone can stay safe and get the help they may need.
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    Jan 23, 2008 5:37 AM GMT
    Eternitytech -- I'll bet that was hard to take losing several class mates to suicide like that. I had a loss in my family when I was 18, but it was an aunt, she gave plenty of warning signs, but absolutely would not allow any of us to come into her "domain" maybe if my dad and uncles, aunts would have helped her sooner she might have come out of it. but by the time their was any real effort it was too late. She started her car and sat in it until death, my cousin came home and found her. I'll never forget it !!
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    Jan 23, 2008 6:56 AM GMT
    I had a gay classmate who committed suicide at 18, on New year's day last 2007. The worst thing is none of us could see it coming. He was flamboyant, and since I'm not out, I wasn't really close to him. But he always seemed so... happy... the news of him committing suicide was just so unlikely that I didn't believe it until he didn't come back for school.

    I have two cousins who committed suicide. Brothers. Our family was never close with them, though. One was a suspected murder, the eldest in the family, but autopsy says it was suicide.

    Another was more recent, the second eldest (last 2006) and more shocking... He killed his two girls (6 and 3) along with him. Laid their heads together with his and then... damn... never mind. It was because his wife, who was working abroad, cannot be contacted (saudi arabian employers forbade her personal calls, It's why I've always been against filipinas working in the middle east) that caused it.

    Anyway, same things. No indication at all. Just a certain kind of withdrawal, and a wistful look that passes in their eyes sometimes. But otherwise, no indication.

    The best thing would be for the depressed themselves to recognize the signs. And REACH OUT TO SOMEBODY. You're never alone in this world. And believe me, teenage angst may seem extremely painful, but it passes.

    It passes.

    As a teenager, I once seriously thought about suicide when my first unconfessed love interest turned out straight. I think that depression is somehow magnified during the teens. Because, looking back at it now, I just think it was kinda silly.

    and one thing:


    So, if you're thinking about suicide. Think again. Believe me, there is Happiness in life. icon_wink.gif It usually just comes later for us gay guys.

    P.S. Gay teens are especially prone to suicide, I must say, there are hotlines you can call for help. I forgot the numbers. I'll post it here later.

    P.P.S. If someone says they need to talk to you about something important. DON'T HANG UP, DON'T MAKE EXCUSES, AND JUST FRIGGIN LISTEN!
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    Jan 23, 2008 2:24 PM GMT
    I work for youth and family services as well as an agency that is helping bring awareness to depression. The agency was started after a young girl in 7th grade suicided (the proper term now), and the parents felt that they needed to help prevent this from happening to others. The agency has been educating teenagers for the past 5 years on signs of depression and how to help someone who you think may be depressed.

    While tips for the person who is depressed is helpful its really hard for them to take that advice. The best thing you can do for a friend is help them find someone to talk to, whether it be a social worker, counselor, or someone who works in a hospital. Getting them that connection can help save their life.
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    Jan 23, 2008 4:35 PM GMT
    The Trevor Project

    Please spread the word.
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    Jan 23, 2008 4:58 PM GMT
    The signs are not always so obvious. A friend of mine hanged himself a hour after laughing and having fun with us. We all had no clue why.

    I twice tried to commit Suicide. I am still questioning myself if it would have been a better idea to follow it through, but I cant bare the thought of leaving my Sis and their kids on their own. Besides that a lot has changed and things may be still be a pile of shit, but at least it gets smaller. I still have the scars on one arm which will always remind me where I came from and hopefully hold me up from ever going back.

    On the point on how to help someone who thinks about it, I couldnt think of a real way. When I did it, was the last thing I needed help or charity from anybody. It would only have made it worse.
  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    Jan 23, 2008 5:16 PM GMT
    I think I've talked about this, but I'm on Wellbutrin. I've thought about suicide too many times to count since I felt lonely as long as I can remember.

    I believed that life would be better without me. My friends wouldn't have to stress about how I'm doing or that my family can stop worrying that I will come out to the rest of my family.

    I believed I failed all of them and myself.

    I'm wrong. Definitely.

    I see a therapist and the Wellbutrin really does help me out.

    Seriously, be a shoulder for someone if they need it or even just give them a hug so they know you're there for them and that you care.

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    Jan 23, 2008 5:57 PM GMT
    I think people who live in boring isolated places are more likely to kill themselves. Often people who are lonely and worthless feel suicidal... sadly most people in such a situation can do little or nothing to change it. If the US goes into recession - i'm afraid a lot of people will be seriously depressed and crime / suicide rates will increase. its important to keep a positive outlook always and be strong minded - and when you feel a little bit low just think about how it could be even worse... and feel thankful for at least what you have for now. Always compare yourself to the people worse off than you.. rather than looking at people who are better off... then you will feel thankful for what you have rather than regret what you don't have!!!
  • helium

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    Jan 23, 2008 11:38 PM GMT
    I read this and I have thought about killing myself a few times, especially in winter 2003 when I was dumped by my ex and also got kicked out of school for not making the grades (something at that time I felt was a complete scar in which I was ashamed to admit to). What helped me through that time some of the other times that I thought about killing myself were my family and my friends. They are some great people who I felt I couldn't leave since they mean a lot to me.

    So as I sit and think about those times that I wanted to kill myself, I think that I was in a dark place but now I have some peace.

    What I can say is that you need to talk with someone and also possibly think about going on medication. That way you don't do that thought of suicide. Another thing is to make a list of what would happen if you did kill yourself and how your life-ending act would affect others.
    When you do that, you see how many people care for you and they don't see you any differently. Just something to think about.