I meet a wonderful guy, but he confess...

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  Jan 24, 2008 5:46 PM GMT

  A couple of weeks ago, I meet a wonderful guy (42 im 38 ) during Christmas holidays (Three Kings day weekend) He is native of Puerto Rico, but lives and works in Miami.
  
  Before leaving he confessed me: "Im knowing someone, but I have more attraction and chemistry with you". (I know this man is he's bf) He plans to come again to P.R. in february for a family reunion and visit my self. The issue is that I dont want to destroy a relation ship, but he insists he wants to be with me, and I want too...
  
  1. I dont know what to expect in this situation?
  2. What should I do? Put yourself in my shoes,any piece of advise.

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  Jan 24, 2008 8:11 PM GMT

  Some people have open relationships. Does his bf know he's seeing other people?
  If he's lying to his bf now, he'll probably be lying to you later. It's hard to take the high ground, but he should probably end his current thing if he wants to start a new relationship.
  However, sometimes the mind doesn't have much to do with what the penis wants, and we wind up screwing everything up. Then the only thing left is to talk it out and get to a place where everyone is sort of OK.

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  Jan 24, 2008 8:18 PM GMT

  Personally, I don't feel I have the right to directly tell you what to do with your life. You're going to have to live this one through to get your answer. My own moral compass however would tell me to find someone new, if I was in your position. This is further proof as to why the analogy of the 3rd wheel is used as something bad and uncomfortable. Some people can make such a relationship work, at the cost of at least one of the 3 or more involved or at the cost of the level of intimacy between all 3 involved. It evident with how short lived and dramatic most of these relationships end, when someone feels the need for more, as most humans do.
  But, it's up to you to learn from this, one way or another. How you learn is going to make all the difference.

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  Jan 24, 2008 8:35 PM GMT

  I agree with mtnbiker7.
  
  "The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour." - Dr Phil.
  
  If he cheats on his existing boyfriend, he could well cheat on you. If that's ok with you, then that's fine, if it's not ok with you, well let's face it, there are lots of other men out there.
  

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  Jan 24, 2008 8:58 PM GMT

  I think you should leave him alone, move to North Carolina and be my boyfriend. I'm single.
  
  LOL, just kidding, if he lives in Miami it would be a long distance relationship anyway and those are no fun. I think you should pass on him. One thing to ask yourself is if he is willing to leave his boyfriend to be with you, will he leave YOU to be with someone else when you guys are together?

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  Jan 24, 2008 9:13 PM GMT

  'Ricans are gorgeous!

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  Jan 24, 2008 9:24 PM GMT

  Oye chico! Dejame decirte......
  
  Si ese chavo handa mientiendo a su novio que tiene ahorita, a la mejor te va hacer lo mismo contigo! La cosa es ten quidado, el no vive en PR y tu no vives donde el esta, los dos pueden hacer lo que quieren cuando les de la gana sin decir al otra nada! Mis dos centavos son de este manera, cuando el llega que se juntan y que tienen un BUEN tiempo y dejalo a eso.
  
  
  TRANSLATION....
  
  If this guys is lying to his BF more than likely he'll end up doing the same to you. Bottom line is that he doesn't live in PR and you don't live where he does meaning that the both of you can do whatever & whomever you want & never let the other one know! My two cents, when he visits just have fun with him and let it be what it is.
  

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  Jan 24, 2008 10:58 PM GMT

  Well, depends on what you want.
  
  If you wanna do this guy, you do realize you may never see him again. If he already has a man and you are long distance. He's going to sex you up and then step out for good. This is fine, if being his sexual plaything sits well with you. Why don't you ditch him and use the extra time to go bf hunting or atleast to go find a local trick you can have sometime later.
  

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  Jan 25, 2008 12:46 AM GMT

  Pues, dejame decirte tambien...
  
  Como dijo makeumyne, "si quieres saber el futuro con el...mira al pasado." Una leccion del amor, que yo sepa.
  
  Me sabe mal que conocerse un chico magnifico e ya tiene un novio. Pero eso es la vida.
  
  (Lo siento si el espanol es malo; nunca tengo la opurtunidad para practicarlo.)

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  Jan 25, 2008 12:57 AM GMT

  zrs106 saidPues, dejame decirte tambien...
  
  Como dijo makeumyne, "si quieres saber el futuro con el...mira al pasado." Una leccion del amor, que yo sepa.
  
  Me sabe mal que conocerse un chico magnifico e ya tiene un novio. Pero eso es la vida.
  
  (Lo siento si el espanol es malo; nunca tengo la opurtunidad para practicarlo.)

  
  
  
  Ni yo, pero salio perfecto!!!

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  Jan 25, 2008 3:23 AM GMT

  zrs106,a1972guy........Traduce por favor!!!

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  Jan 25, 2008 4:38 AM GMT

  skeezix saidzrs106,a1972guy........Traduce por favor!!!

  
  
  My second post just translates to telling him that it came through perfectly. My first post I did offer the translated version

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  Jan 25, 2008 4:51 AM GMT

  .....y ZRS106........Traduce por favor...........Come on, you're from PA, and it looks pretty good. En ingles, por favor. Don't make me have to get out my dictionary now.

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  Jan 25, 2008 4:55 AM GMT

  **looking at the men speaking spanish all dreamy-eyed**
  
  
  
  I love Latino men.

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  Jan 25, 2008 8:18 AM GMT

  Me too...
  
  LOL.
  
  Maybe it's just because I like Spanish... been trying without much success to learn it for years now... (I can understand a lot of vocabulary since our own language uses a lot of spanish words, but for grammar, meh)
  
  On the man... I dunno.
  
  Ever heard of Holiday Romances? They're good while they last, but end up frustrating you. Especially if he's the tourist, and you're the native.
  
  But then again, it's YOU who know him best. So in the end, it's really up to you whether you believe him enough.
  
  

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  Jan 25, 2008 9:40 AM GMT

  If he'd do it to the man he's "knowing" then it's likely he'd do it to you, too. How would you feel?

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  Jan 25, 2008 12:43 PM GMT

  zrs106 saidPues, dejame decirte tambien...
  
  Como dijo makeumyne, "si quieres saber el futuro con el...mira al pasado." Una leccion del amor, que yo sepa.
  
  Me sabe mal que conocerse un chico magnifico e ya tiene un novio. Pero eso es la vida.
  
  (Lo siento si el espanol es malo; nunca tengo la opurtunidad para practicarlo.)

  
  
  Well, let me tell you something too...
  
  Just like makeumyne said, "if you want to know the future with this guy...look to the past". It's a lesson of love, as far as I know it.
  
  I feel bad that you met a great guy and he already had a boyfriend. But that's life.
  
  (I'm sorry if the spanish is bad; I never have a chance to practice it.)

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  Jan 25, 2008 7:03 PM GMT

  to ZRS106- Muchas gracias, mi amigo muy querrrrrrido!

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  Jan 26, 2008 9:56 PM GMT

  Hola a todos gracias por sus consejos, de verdad, no tengo palabras para agradecerlos.
  
  Translation:
  
  I would like to express my sincere thanks to all of you who post your advices. I really appreciate them.

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