Inter racial Relationships

  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Jan 29, 2007 11:45 PM GMT
    I was just wondering what you guys thought of inter racial realtionships. I have dated all types of guys, black, white, latin etc. I have always found it to be an eye opening experience to date outside of my race. I believe people can learn from anyone at any point in their lives. We all want the same things out of life. To be happy, healthy and to able to share that life with someone. Race will always be a factor in an inter racial relationship, I think how big a factor depends on the parties involved. I have a great BF who happens to be white, I have some friends who don't totally understand why I choose to date the men that I do, then again I live my life for myself and no one else. I would love to hear your thoughts guys.
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    Jan 29, 2007 11:51 PM GMT
    Okay. somehow I feel that along the lines, someone is going to say something that will offend someone else, whether with or without intent.
    Racial topics can be touchy...proceed with caution. There are things I could share about my own personal tastes, but, again, things can be mis-perceived; after all, this is all black and white text, and room for misinterpretation.

    (Keeping eyes wide shut)
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Jan 30, 2007 2:14 AM GMT
    I didn't think this would be such a touchy subject. Thanks for the reply Mike.
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Jan 30, 2007 3:35 AM GMT
    Typically, white guys with blond hair and blue eyes are the last on my list for dating...

    ...I see it every day in the mirror...and I tend to like contrasts...I just happen to be attracted to dark hair, skin, and features first...although I have found some blonde hair/blue eyed boys hot in my short time on the planet...

    - David
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    Jan 30, 2007 3:42 AM GMT
    Being a product of an interacial relationship, I date outside my race every time I date. For me its never really been an issue. Being raised in upper middle class suburbia, I find socio-economic differences more prominent in relationships than racial differences. But as far as choices go, it really varies from guy to guy.
  • thriver2004

    Posts: 1

    Jan 30, 2007 4:52 AM GMT
    couldn't agree more!
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    Jan 30, 2007 5:59 AM GMT
    I like the difference in dating other races. There is something exotic about someone with lighter features than your own.Being the type of black guy I am it's hard to find another black guy I have things in common with.

    What really turns me on is when I see a guy act totally out of his expectation of him

    Like a white guy who really dances well,Or a black guy who can ride a bull.

    As for me, mmm I know a few magic tricks: )
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    Jan 30, 2007 3:06 PM GMT
    Such an interesting and convoluted topic. We are people and we all have our preferences for what ever reason.

    On this planet, our race is unique because of the variety of people we have. Think about it, you have know what a elephant generally looks like, for the most part they are the same - even in other parts of the world. Humans on the other hand come in all shapes, sizes, colors, etc. Some people only like blonde hair and blue eyes, some green eyes, dark skin, and others don't give a damn about your exterior (for the most part), but your interior. Personally this is where I fall.

    While granted we all want the "most handsome, muscled, and gosh darn big "penis'd" (lol)" guy out there, the first thing you see is "the skin", the surface. If the surface doesnt match what you "do" in general, then you may miss out on someone who meets all of the criteria of what you want in a man, except that he is darker or lighter skinned. Unfortunate.

    From my short time on this earth, I have dated a variety of guys each with his own quirks, personality, and complexion. For a lot of them I was the first "darker" skinned person they had EVER done anything with (for the record I am mixed - af. amer, irish, nat. american) and it came down to them seeing past the skin/surface and more about my merit as an individual, cause, well...i'm pretty awesome. Yes, people have not gone out with me because of my skin tone - but I do not have ill will against those people because it probably would not have worked out anyway. He didn't take the time to truly get to wholly know who I am so why bother taking the time to know you?

    In any case, if more people thought my way then we would be a society of elephants. All the same. Its good to have variances and differences, I think. It keeps us true to who we are. (sorry for the term paper)
  • art_smass

    Posts: 960

    Jan 30, 2007 3:43 PM GMT
    I tend to discriminate against short guys. I'm a horrible person.
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Jan 30, 2007 5:07 PM GMT
    Lasalle, Wow! Such a mature viewpoint for someone so young. I take my hat off to you.

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    Jan 30, 2007 5:49 PM GMT
    I don't have a problem with interracial relationships. And I admit as far as first attraction, I tend to notice darker hair, eyes and skin first. I wouldn't say it's strong enough to get close to something like a fetish, but it's definitely there.
  • TallGWMvballe...

    Posts: 1925

    Jan 30, 2007 6:24 PM GMT
    Good topic guys!

    As someone who has dated guy sof many races over the years I
    aggree with most; it is the outside that is the initial atraction, but that only is appropo for a short time. Ultimately it is your inner being that will determine compatibilty and happiness as a couple. Don't be afraid! Interracial dating can be difficult but then you get more choices!
    For the record, not ALL of us are looking for muscles and big dicks! I for one know many others (like myself) that prefer thin built guys... the smile gets me first! and ALL races are fine.

    -- Ron
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    Jan 30, 2007 11:08 PM GMT
    Things were off to such a great start on this topic and here I am about to spoil it all. Okay, without wanting to offend anyone, here are my thoughts. I am very open to interracial relationships - that's been the case in every relationship I have been in. However, what has often been a challenge in defining that fine line between guys who are attracted to black guys, and guys for whom black guys are a fetish... so much so that it doesn't really matter who the person is. Few things are as unattractive to me.
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Jan 31, 2007 5:10 AM GMT
    Hey Terry, I feel you on that one. I have gone out with more then one white guy who just wanted a black buck. But guys don't have to be a certain color to be ass holes. Dating outside of your race can be a landmine sometimes, but in the end I think the experience makes you grow and you become more aware of the guys intentions.
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    Jan 31, 2007 11:11 PM GMT
    Hmm, I don't really have a "type", I'm happy to date most guys as long as they're nice.
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    Feb 06, 2007 6:40 AM GMT
    My heritage is black and latin, but my stepdad is white. So I was raised in an interracial household and have been around mixed cultures my whole life.

    There are always going to be little cultural differences, like my stepdad hated my hip hop. My black friends hate when I blast my salsa... lol

    For me, I am open to other cultures as long as the person and I have common interests and we try to understand each other. If I connect with someone, its all good.
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    Feb 11, 2007 6:38 AM GMT
    Yes, great conversation everyone.

    It's refreshing to get a relevant and intelligent conversation about a topic that is still an issue in smaller cities rather than larger metropolitan centres. Here in Vancouver, BC there are so many interracial younger couples (straight and gay) that people on the street don't even give it a second look when one walks down the street hand-in-hand.

    I have been in an interracial relationship (with a mut--very mixed!) for four years now. Although race is generally not an issue between us, I still have to realize that not being part of a visible minority puts me at a disadvantage with regard to understanding how subversive racism/prejudice IS still an issue.

    I can't wait for the day when people of colour (yes, I spelled that with a 'u' cause I's from the Canadas) do not feel they are being opressed in any way.
  • duglyduckling

    Posts: 279

    Feb 16, 2007 5:40 AM GMT
    variety is the spice of life afterall... in this day and age, it really shouldn't matter at all. However, people should not be labelled racist just because they prefer to date people within their own race/ethnicity, cause it's just a personal preference afterall...
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Feb 16, 2007 5:49 AM GMT
    Good point duglyduckling, I have also found the gay world to be just as racist as the straight world at certain points and times.
  • TallGWMvballe...

    Posts: 1925

    Feb 16, 2007 7:11 AM GMT
    It seems most of you have discussed Black/White combos but there are other races and other characteristics for which people state "preferences".

    Again, I wish all of us would look beyond the outside physical characteristics and get to know the real person, the Individual BUT the world is not like that... all of us in one way or another have "preferred attractions" that are often defined by Race, color, body type and AGE.

    The best I believe we can strive for is to not cross the line between preferences and outright Prejudice and at least make an effort to look beyond the first thing that seems to not meet your "pereferences"

    Bravo to all who posted
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    Feb 17, 2007 7:15 PM GMT
    Most of my relationship have been interracial. My first relationship during college was with a black guy, and since then my boyfriends have been majority black, with some Asian and white. I feel that to have a successful interracial relationship, one needs to have an open mind and try to understand the other's culture (not in a total approval kind of way, but try to look at it in a balanced point of view). It helps to understand history of interracial oppression and prejudice in the broader context of evolution of human civilizations. My race have mistreated people as badly as yours, in most cases. My culture has habits that slows its people from learning and growing, and most likely so does yours.
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    Feb 17, 2007 7:32 PM GMT
    I dont find anything wrong with interracial dating. My ex of 4 years was white and I loved every day of it. When you step outside of your race you learn a lot. It was a great experience. My family asks about him all the time and his family loved me. Racism will always be an issue in this world, even I discriminate. Im not attracted to dark skinned men. My preference is white/latin.
  • Paradigm_Shif...

    Posts: 251

    Mar 03, 2007 7:51 AM GMT
    This is a great topic and I see some great points up above. I especially agree with laSalle04’s insight.

    As a black man I have experienced a great deal of frustration within the gay community based on race. I was initially shocked at how racially divided our community can be. I’ve been not so politely shot down by white guys who “aren’t into back guys”. I’ve also been called “White boy” while in a primarily black gay club in Atlanta for wearing a Polo instead of a jersey.

    And I agree, that everyone is entitled to a preference but I fear that some use the term “Preferences” to hide prejudice.

    But in the end I think LaSalle is right in saying that if someone is so much more interested in skin color over character, I doubt that they would make a good match in the long run.

    With that said, I do wish the gay community made more of an effort to be racially integrated. I know that’s a hugely complex task but as gay men we have enough enemies without being catty towards one another…

  • Mar 03, 2007 8:20 AM GMT
    I've dated men of every race and am currently dating an Asian guy.He is beautiful in every way and treats me like gold. I have been fortunate that none of the people that care about me, have raised race as an issue at all, mostly because they know I am happy. Your happiness should be foremost in the minds of your friends and family, if they bring up race, that is their issue not yours~especially since it is such a non-issue. If they are the kind of people who feel that race should come before love and happiness,it makes me wonder if they are people that you would even want in your life.
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Mar 05, 2007 5:26 AM GMT
    Great post paradigm, I think you hit the nail right on the head!